Ashley Vallot

Accomplished

2012-02-28T05:41:00.001-08:00

Yesterday marked a big day for me. Besides the fact that it was my sweet Noah's 5th birthday, it was a day of HUGE realization. I realized that I had not been fully engaging myself in the work the Lord had for me. Sure, I go to church, help when I can, read the Word, etc; but was I using ALL of me for His glory?I decided yesterday after all the kids were gone to stay home....no running errands, stay home. That's tough for me because with 4 kids at home you can always think of a million things that you need to go get from the store! Instead I caught up on laundry, worked a little on Zumba, and then began preparing something that I know God has placed on my heart for awhile now.....a Ladies Bible Study. Those 3 words stir up lots of different emotions in me. I love a good Bible study, so part of it makes me super excited, then the other makes me extremely nervous. Why? Because this is SO out of my comfort zone. You see, I'm weird...I could sing infront of TONS of people and not be nervous, but talk infront of people....whew! That gets me shaking! I have tried to avoid this call that He placed on my life because I kept letting the enemy stir up so much fear in me. I kept thinking, "I don't know what to do the study on, I don't know if anyone will come, I really don't have time for this......" But God used yesterday as a day of refreshment for me. Even though I was doing household duties at the same time, I wasn't sidetracked by the telephone or anything. I had good quality time with MYSELF & that is ok. I really got into His Word and refreshed my mind & spirit. He clearly laid out what He had planned for me and I began working on it. I got so much accomplished and the fear is gone! Now it is all about the anticipation of finishing!After the kids got home, we had baseball practice, so it was a crazy evening at the ballpark, rush home, eat dinner, take baths & get to bed. But instead of being my usual frazzled and exhausted self, I was at peace. I felt accomplished. I love days where I get so much done that at the end of the day you go to bed with a smile on your face because you got so much done. But this was even better than that. I went to bed feeling not only accomplished, but settled...settled in the fact that I have finally submitted to Him and took the necessary steps in obedience to fulfill that calling. Hey, I even gave my blog a face lift and am comitting to sharing more on this. I know this blog has at least been encouraging to a few people out there and I need to be faithful in sharing the things that God places on my heart...not every single day, but a lot more frequently.So as I sit and think about my joy in my accomplishments, I also think about how joyful it must make our Heavenly Father to see us take those steps in accomplishing the tasks that He has for us; the very things that He has called us to do. I think He may have just been smiling up there yesterday. And quite possibly shaking His head as if to say, "It's about time!""Who hath saved us, and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purposes and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began." 2 Timothy 1:9

At HIS feet

2011-09-26T09:22:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, my husband and I went to the beach for 2 days.....withOUT kids!!! We haven't had a vacation away from the kids since before we had them!!! (11 years ago!) We decided to go for it and just RELAX! We didn't want to do anything but enjoy each other, the beach & of course the peace and quiet. And that is exactly what we did. It was rejuvenating :)

While laying on our beach chairs Saturday I kept noticing TONS of butterflies everywhere! I love butterflies, but the beach seems like an odd place to see so many. They were flying everwhere in pairs. It was crazy cool! Dan went up to the room to get us some water and this butterfly kept coming right by my feet. I took my camera out and so badly wanted the butterfly to land on my sandy feet. I thought that would make such a cool picture! :)

Well, the butterfly landed on Dan's chair, but never would land on me. So, I took a picture of that being the next best thing. I just kept watching them fly around so fast and land for a quick second, then fly off, come back for a second, then fly off again. It made me think about how often God probably wants us to come rest at His feet, and we are too busy fluttering around to stop. We are not taking enough time to do what He wants us to do the most. He is like me with my camera, just waiting for that precious moment when we be still at His feet.

I am so guilty of this. I need to take the time to rest at His feet. There really is nothing more important than that. There truly should be no better place to be than there. There will always be running around to do, but we need to take the time to stop and rest right where we belong.

"Imitation is the Highest Form of Flattery"

2011-02-07T10:01:00.000-08:00

I am so thankful for my girly little girl! She is such a diva! We always laugh about how high maintenance she is, but really I love that she is girly! Having 2 wild boys, I enjoy the touch of glitter that she brings :)

I have just recently begun to notice how much my sweet little Addi mimicks things that I do. She wanted a bathrobe like mine to wear when she gets out of the tub, she wants boots just like mine, etc. This past weekend I was putting my make up on in my bathroom. (I have always sat on the counter with my feet in the sink to do this....even 9 months pregnant! I often wonder how long I will be able to do that.) Addi came in, climbed up right beside me and started powdering her face with the remnants left on my powder puff. She said, "Mom, when I grow up I am going to sit in my sink & put make up on just like you!" I laughed and finished up, and that was that.

Later in the weekend, I received this super cute charm bracelet that I ordered from a friend of mine. Addi loved it just as much as I did.(After all, she's a girly girl!) As soon as she finished admiring it she ran to her room and found her charm bracelet that she hasn't worn in ages. She wanted to "match" me. It was cute! She made sure she pointed out many times how we were "twins" with our matching bracelets.

It made me think about how often Addi imitates me in everyday life. How she runs and pulls Noah's bed back just right if he falls asleep in my arms because she knows exactly how I do it. She wipes up messes that Noah may make just like I do. I always say she is such a little Momma hen. But sometimes I think it is even more than that. Addi always tells me how much she loves me and how I am the best Mommy in the whole world. I know I am far from that, but in her big hazel eyes, that is what I am.

It also makes me think about how I should be imitating Jesus in everyday life. In the little things, the big things, the things that are so obvious, and the things that nobody sees. What more of a perfect example of how we should live our life than our perfect heavenly Father. If we could imitate Him in everything, how much our lives would reflect true holiness. There is no way for us as imperfect people to ever compare to our perfect God, but maybe if we start trying to imitate Him, or think of how He would handle a situation, we would be a light in the process.

Ephesians 5:1- "Be IMITATORS of God, therefore as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Rocks & Roots!

2011-01-30T05:38:00.000-08:00

I have signed up on Active.com to receive all race information in the Baton Rouge and surrounding areas. I wanted to do a 5K every month(if available) and the only one for January was Miles For Moz. It is put on by the Brothers of Sacred Heart for a Christian school rebuilding in Mozambique, Africa. I thought that seemed like a great cause, so I signed up. I also liked the idea that it was at LSU Rural Life Museum. I have always wanted to check that place out, so I figured this would be a great opportunity.

Well, Thursday night Noah started running HIGH fever and feeling horrible! He slept less than an hour Thursday night and was in a super cranky mood all day Friday. I kept telling myself if he didn't sleep Friday night, there was NO WAY I could participate in the race. I mean, I have to be there at 7:30 am, and it is about 35 minutes away! Well, sure enough, Noah got NO sleep Friday night. I was so tired! I kept trying to talk myself out of going, but I couldn't do it. So I drank some really strong coffee and headed out! The whole way there I was thinking about how I would probably end up walking most of the race because I haven't been consistently running due to the cold, and of course, I was exhausted! But when I got there, I got really excited! First off, the place was beautiful! Even though it is winter and nothing was blooming, it was such a neat and serene place. It was crazy how quiet it is even though it is directly off the interstate and a major highway.

So, anyway, I got ready and everyone lined up. They started with a prayer since it was a Christian event. And boy did I need it; not only because I was tired, but because there were a few surprises in store. After the prayer, the announcer even said there were some surprises, but I really didn't get it. So then comes, "Racers get on your mark, get set, GO! We all take off, some REALLY take off! I chose to start slow because I needed to pace myself and because I am not there to try to impress anyone! HAHA! We only go a few yards and our first turn comes......SURPRISE....a bad one.....LIMESTONE! Oh my gosh! I can't run on limestone! I have the weakest ankles ever and foot problems on top of that! What the heck?!?! So I slowed my pace even more and stared at the ground when I ran. I was so nervous. One wrong move, my ankle will roll, and my foot will be broken...again! I was bummed, but I just focused on each step. I kept thinking that surely this part would end soon and we would be on flat ground. Well, there went the 1 mile mark and still on limestone! Shortly after, it turned to pea gravel. That wasn't bad at all. My feet were happy and I regained some speed. Then it started getting grassy. That was pretty tough because it was pretty think grass, but at least it wasn't limestone. Then came another surprise.....hills! What?!?! This was surely going to slow me down! You could hear every one's groans even over my music. I was glad I wasn't the only one complaining! It was tough, but actually kind of fun! Once I passed the hills, it got really curvy. And another surprise.....roots! Oh no! Curves with huge oak tree roots everywhere! Were these people trying to kill me?!?! HA! So I was jogging, slowly, because once again, i was terrified! I actually landed wrong on one, and had a really sharp pain in my foot. But it was okay and I kept running. We finally got through that and I was so thankful to see asphalt! We had already passed the 2 mile mark, so I knew that I could finish strong if the last 3/4 of a mile was asphalt. The scenery was beautiful! I really got to enjoy it since I was actually on flat ground, and because I was in the homestretch! I love the last mile of the run because my endorphins have kicked in and I'm ready for the finish line. I was trying to figure my time in my head because I knew that in December, I finished in 31 minutes, on complete asphalt, and when I had been running regularly. So I figured with this "obstacle course" and the fact that I haven't been as faithful with running, that I would be lucky to finish at 35 minutes, but maybe closer to 40 minutes. But no matter what my time turned out to be, I was going to be happy, because I did it! I accomplished this!

So, as I turned the last curve, I saw the finish line. I had been running pretty fast already, but I cranked it up for the very end. And then I saw the time clock as I crossed the line.......29 minutes!!!!! I couldn't believe it! How in the world did I beat my last time? I was so excited!

I was excited because I finished another 5K, but mostly because I went in thinking I would totally stink and I really surprised myself! I know 29 minutes for 3.1 miles isn't GREAT time for an experienced runner, but for this girl, it was just fine! I can't wait for the Komen Race for the Cure in just 3 weeks! It will be nice to run on asphalt again! HAHA!!!

I found this quote the other day that really made me think about myself. I have often dreamed of things I wanted to do, but just look at them like there is no way I could ever accomplish it, so I never even try. I have been that way with running for years! I always admired runners, but would just say, "I can never do that. That's just too hard for me." But i never trained or even tried. But last August I decided to try training and I really enjoy it! But it took me actually getting my booty out there and trying instead of looking at it and giving up without putting forth ANY effort. "In order to accomplish anything, you need to not stare up the steps, but step up the stairs." I LOVE it! I think it is so simple, but so true! And of course, I love Philippians 4:13- "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

The truth is, life if full of obstacles. There is tons of "limestone" and "roots" along the way. If we stay focused and KNOW that we can get through it, then chances are, we can! And you never know when all of those obstacles that seem to be slowing us down, are really the motivators that make us work harder and finish stronger!!!!

Found it!

2011-01-27T11:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever looked ALL over for something that you know is there, but you can't find it??? I'm sure you have...I think everyone does that sometimes. Well, I did today. I was in the garage looking for an old training wheel for a school project. I knew that we had a bucket full of training wheels for all of the kid's bikes. I looked and looked and could never find them. I was so frustrated! I KNEW they were there somewhere in that garage! So I went in the house and started trying to rethink the project. What could we use in place of that wheel? Nothing came to mind. I really didn't want to go to the store looking for a stinking wheel either. I decided to go back in the garage and look AGAIN. Well, as soon as I opened the door, there was the wheel! It was on one of the top shelves in plain sight! I couldn't see it before because I was standing too close to the shelves to see. It took me changing my angle for it to be in eye shot.

I thought about how many times I ask God for answers and look and look but I can't find those answers. Well, maybe it's because I am expecting the answers to be a certain way or in a certain area of my life. I'm not looking all over for them. Maybe sometimes I need to step back and reevaluate my life because the answers I'm looking for are right in front of my face! Instead of wasting all my time looking and looking for what I WANT, I might just need to step back and see what I already have!

The Missed Opportunity That Really Mattered

2011-01-17T05:23:00.000-08:00

4 years ago today, I had an opportunity......but I missed it. You see, at the time, I didn't realize it was one because it just seemed like an ordinary day. I was sitting at home, 8 months pregnant with Noah, playing with Addi, waiting for Brayden to get home from Kindergarten. My sister Amber stopped by for a quick visit on her way home from work like she did often. I chatted with her for a few minutes and then told her bye and watched her pull out of my driveway.......opportunity missed.

Well, the opportunity that I missed seems so simple, but is so important. It didn't feel like a missed opportunity at the time, but by the next morning it was extremely heartbreaking. You see, that was the last time I saw my sister alive. Those were the last words I spoke to her. Not that we didn't have a fine conversation or anything, but that's all it was. I didn't hug her or tell her how much I loved her. I know that seems silly because those may not be things we say and do on a regular basis anyway, but it mattered the next morning.

We got the call early the next morning that she had been in a wreck and was on her way to the hospital....that's it. Honestly, we didn't get into a big rush because that was all the details her husband was given. As we got ready, we got another call saying it was "critical." Even those words didn't sink in. We loaded up and as we were about to head out, we got the dreaded call. "She didn't make it." I will never forget those words; I will never forget the look on my Daddy's face when we pulled up to the ER entrance and he was outside waiting for us, I will never forget the smell of that "little room" at the hospital.

This day is the hardest day of the year for me and some people would ask why January 17 and not January 18, when she actually died on the 18th? Well, it's because January 17, 2007 was the last "normal" day of my life. This was the last day that our family was "complete." This was the day that I should have told her how much I loved her, but I didn't. I should have hugged her tight before she left...but I didn't.

In the last 4 years, I have found more peace in it thanks to Jesus. I know in my heart that Amber knew I loved her, no matter how much we disagreed about EVERYTHING, even as adults. I know that she knew I was proud of all of her accomplishments even if I didn't say it like I should have.

Most importantly, I know that she is having an amazing time in heaven! That gives me immeasurable peace even when I'm having a hard day. I know that I missed a golden opportunity 4 years ago and I pray that I don't ever miss one again because you NEVER know when your time here is up. I never would have guessed that I would lose my only sister when I was 27 years old, and she was only 30. I never thought she would leave behind a 9 year old son, and a 1 year old son. But it happened. And we should all make the most of every opportunity to tell our loved ones how much we do care. You never know if that will be your last chance.

Daddy's Girls! (around 1985)

Me & Amber at my High School Graduation 1997(she was pregnant with her 1st son)

Amber & Grandaddy in 2001 right before he passed away(now they're together again!)

Amber, Brantley & my parents : LSU Graduation

Her Wedding Day : June 2003

I LOVE YOU AMBER & MISS YOU SO VERY MUCH!

Rescued!

2011-01-11T11:08:00.000-08:00

I have been cleaning out our office today and FINALLY took a break to eat some lunch. Noah wasn't watching TV so I had control of the remote.(this NEVER happens at my house!) I have no idea what comes on during the day because I never watch TV except at night. So I was flipping through channels and there was nothing good on at all except a little "trash" tv. I stopped on one of those typical shows when I saw the show was about amazing rescues. There was a woman on there with her 7 year old son. They had been rescued from their burning home by a stranger passing by. The show had arranged for them to be reunited since she never really got the chance to thank this man.

It started out with her telling the story about how her son was sick and she had a pot of soup cooking on the stove and she dozed off with him since they had been up all night. Anyway, she awakened to smoke everywhere and her house literally engulfed in flames. She was panicking and trying to figure out how she could get herself and her son out of the high window in her room. Just as she was shoving a dresser over to climb on, this man burst into her room, busted the window, grabbed her and the boy and threw them out of the window. By this time, firefighters were arriving and they rushed to give them oxygen while the stranger talked to police and then left.

She was crying as she told of this heroic deed by a total stranger. She said that she felt liked she owed him everything she had, and that still wouldn't amount to what he gave her. That He risked his life for 2 people that he didn't even know all because an elderly neighbor was screaming, "There's people in there!!!!!"

When they brought him out, she embraced him, sobbing. She thanked him over and over and told him that he gave them life and there was no proper way to thank him for that. That he saved her and her son in the most selfless way imaginable. She said she was forever indebted to him. It was a very sweet reunion!

After it was over, I turned the TV off and thought about that man. It made me think about another man....Jesus. He didn't just risk His life, He gave His life for ALL of mankind. He didn't have to do what He did, but He did it so that we could have life. If this woman feels forever indebted to this stranger for saving her and her son's lives, how much more indebted to Jesus should we be for saving ours? Since there is no way for us to re-pay Him for what He did, shouldn't we just willingly submit and surrender our lives to Him? I mean, isn't that the least we could do?

Getting back in the groove!

2011-01-10T10:48:00.000-08:00

Well, one of my New Year Resolutions was to join a gym and I had given a deadline of TODAY to figure things out. I have been tossing up ideas because I have friends that LOVE the gym and have been trying to talk me into it. I KNOW that I need to change my workout a bit and I figured that may be the only way to do it. But here was my dilemma; I was not crazy about signing a contract. I mean, I have 3 kids, therefore I cannot ever totally commit myself to anything for a year! I mean, during the summer, I'm not dragging them out of bed every day so I can work out, or when they're sick, etc. Anyway, I may sound like I'm making excuses, but I promise I'm not. Being a Mom is my #1 job right now, and technically I could get in shape at home, so I really don't want a year commitment. I would love to do this bootcamp that lots of people are doing, but they only have evening classes, and once again, I have 3 kids that are involved in lots of activities in the evenings, plus homework! So, I have to do my work out in the mornings. I really felt lost these last few weeks. I mean, I have been running since August and haven't lost a pound(I need to lose 15-20), so I know I need to change things up. I am not one to do workout videos at home. I need a motivator and a good group of people. So, in the middle of a mere meltdown I get a Facebook message. It was from my wonderful aerobics instructor Roxanne. She was letting me know about her new session fees and gave me a little encouraging word too. I have taken aerobics for 6 years(off & on....mostly on!) and she is amazing! She is one of the most inspiring women I have ever known! I LOVE her classes and I have maintained my weight because of them. But since I have become tired of maintaining, I thought my body needed a change.

Well, after getting her super sweet message, I made up my mind! Her aerobics schedule is Mon, wed, fri mornings from 9:15-10:15 and Noah goes to school on Mon, Wed, Fri mornings at 9:00 about 2 miles down the road. I mean really, that's perfect. And i started thinking that maybe doing aerobics and continuing my running will get me the results I am wanting because I am doing both at the same time!

So I went back this morning and it was so great to see all of my MsFit friends!!! And it was so great seeing Roxanne as well! She was talking to us at the end about how she has been doing this for 28 years now and I still can't get over the fact that this woman is 62!!! She looks amazing! That's motivation right there!!! And best of all, the class was awesome! I got a great workout, had great conversations with great people, and I feel GREAT!!! I'm so glad that she sent me a message. I know this is where I need to be right now.

Fresh & NEW!!!!!

2011-01-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

There is nothing more refreshing & exciting to me than starting a new year. It is always fun to sit and think about what all you did or didn't do the previous year, and speculate about what the new year holds. I have never been a huge fan of New Years Resolutions because I never stick with them and it just seems so cliche'. I like to set goals when I want, how I want, etc. But I realized that maybe that is the reason I don't typically follow through with them. But this year, I really sat and thought about some goals I had, but most importantly, I prayed about it. I know that may sound silly, but oh well. I did pray about it, and here's why:

#1 Resolution:
To strengthen my most important relationship in my life. My relationship with my Savior. This is all too often the relationship that gets put on the back burner when life gets hectic. I really want to work on that. I believe that you can never be close enough to God, but this year, I really want to try! I want Him to reveal things to me like never before. I need Him to show me what His perfect plan is for me and my family. We have totally surrendered to Him, now we are ready for Him to lead.

#2 Resolution:
To be a better parent. This one is hard for me to say because this is one of the most important parts of my life. In all I have done in my 31 years, being a Mom is what makes me the proudest. I don't feel like there is any greater accomplishment. With that being said, I want to do this well...not just well, great! I want to be a great Mom ALL THE TIME. I want my kids to look back when they are grown and have great memories of their childhood. I want them to always be close to me. I want my children to "rise up & call me blessed!"(Prov. 31:28) I want to be great even when my kids aren't being great. I want to be patient even when I am stretched so thin. I want to be loving even when I don't feel loved. I want to take time to play instead of clean, cuddle instead of cook, and just enjoy my most precious gifts.

#3 Resolution:
Drop about 20 lbs. I know this is really cliche', but it's the truth. I have been carrying around about 20 extra lbs that I just can't seem to get rid of. I have been doing aerobics for about 6 years, and I have done a great job of "maintaining" my current weight. But I am tired of maintaining, and I am ready to LOSE! I am going to join the gym(seriously cliche' thing to do in January!), but I'm changing things up. I thought when I started running in August that would help me shed the unwanted pounds, but unfortunately it didn't happen, but I'm still glad I started running :)
I am hoping that getting serious with weight training classes will help me lose what I need to lose. I'm not dead set on 20 lbs either. If I like the way I look, I really don't care what the scale says! So, we'll see how it goes once I start. I'm really excited because I haven't had a gym membership in a million years! And I truly enjoy working out, so I'm excited about starting this!

#4 Resolution:
Run 500 miles in 2011! I am super excited about this one because I have truly enjoyed the last few months of my running journey. I know this sounds silly, but this is one of my biggest accomplishments of 2010. I NEVER thought I would enjoy running, and I really do. I have plans to run 5K's in January-May! I'm hoping more will come available after that, but one a month sounds great to me! I was thinking if I average 3 miles, 3 days a week for the whole year, that is almost 500 miles. So, I'm sure there will be weeks that I don't get a full 9 miles in, but I also hope that my endurance will build up, and I will be running further as the year progresses. So, I really think 500 miles is reasonable even thought when I say it, it seems insane :/ But it is challenging to me, so I'm going for it. I must say, the rush of crossing a finish line is amazing! I can't wait!!!

#5 Resolution:
All around good health for me & my family. I want to start instilling healthy eating habits and active lifestyle into my kids NOW. They are active, but I want them to understand the importance. And we need to work on eating habits. I'm not the best with that and it is my job to do that for my children. Even something as simple as making them drink more water is so important. If they can grasp this now, their adult life will be so much easier! I want them to be healthy and happy forever! :) :)

Well, that's about it for me. I know some of these are corny, but they're mine! HAHA! I have other things in mind, but these are really important to me. It's a new year!!! It reminds me of clean, fresh sheets straight out of the dryer! I can't wait to dive in!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Piercing Presence

2010-12-09T10:39:00.001-08:00

So, while I am on a roll with the running thing, I decided to go running the other night.......when it was 33 degrees. Let me just say this- Brrrrrrrrrr(teeth chattering). I figured that I need to train my body to run in the cold if I am going to do another 5K in February. Well, that's a lot easier said than done. First off, I HATE cold weather...unless I'm snuggled up inside by the fire or in my bed. So, to be out running, was NOT my cup of tea.

Anyway, I kept thinking that the longer I would run, the more my body temperature would increase and I would not be miserably cold. I had so many layers of clothes on, gloves, face warmer, etc. But no matter how fast or slow I ran, how much more skin I covered, I was still freezing. I couldn't escape it. It was overwhelming. I tried concentrating on the beautiful homes decorated with bright lights, or focusing on this new "tempo run" thing that my program is making me do now. But still, no matter what I thought about, or looked at, I couldn't get over how cold I was!

Wouldn't it be amazing if God's presence was like that? That no matter how hard we were thinking about something else, His presence would overwhelm and engulf us. That no matter how many "layers" of problems, circumstances, or anything else that we had on us, He still controlled our thoughts. That no matter how fast or slow our life was at any given time, His presence was so powerful.

If you have ever truly felt the presence of God then you know it is the most amazing and powerful thing. It's something that you don't want to lose. But because "life" happens, we do lose that feeling that comes with it.

He is always there, but sometimes we are just too busy to sit and bask in it. We are too busy just being busy. In essence, we are just putting on more and more layers until we eventually don't feel His presence anymore.

I want His presence to be like that freezing cold wind that pierced my entire body. That no matter what I may be facing in my life, His presence overpowers it all!

Mission Accomplished!

2010-12-04T19:32:00.001-08:00

I know, long time no blog! Things have been so busy lately that I haven't even been reading many blogs, much less posting anything. Between planning and executing a vacation that was....well, a little different than our expectations, Thanksgiving, and gearing up for Christmas, life has been hectic! But instead of posting alot of boring details about all of that I have an announcement......drum roll please......

I ran an entire 5K for the 1st time EVER!!!! I did the Reindeer Run in Downtown Baton Rouge Friday night after training by the Couch to 5K program I've been blogging about. I did it! I really did it! And it was one of the greatest feelings!!

As I have blogged before, I typically come very close to a certain goal, and then I give up, get distracted, or whatever. I have had my share of issues while trying to train to do this. But I have kept going, insisting that I reach this goal. But, as usual, I started earlier this week with the excuses. You see, I had just gotten to the 3 mile mark in my running 3 weeks ago. Then came sickness, vacation, holidays. So, for 3 weeks, there was NO running! This past Monday I told Dan that I had to run to see if I was even capable of going through with it on Friday night. Well, it started POURING rain as I laced my shoes up. A sign???? Maybe. Maybe not. So, on Wednesday night, I geared up in "snow gear" because it was FREEZING! I kept telling Dan, "If it is this cold Friday night, I'm not going. I hate running in the cold." I didn't even finish my program that night because something locked up on my ipod and my music wouldn't come back on. I can't run without my music! So I went inside and said, "There is no way I can do this Friday."

All day Thursday I thought about it and how bad I wanted to accomplish this, but was so worried that I would get there and not even be able to cross the finish line! But I decided I was going for it. The weather was going to be in the 50's, which would be perfect! So, on Friday, I was nervous when I thought about it. I kept thinking of reasons I shouldn't go. But, Dan and the kids loaded up in the van, and we were off! I kept thinking how awful it would be if I was the LAST person to cross the finish line, or hurt my foot, etc. Instead of focusing on accomplishing a big dream, I was focusing on so many negatives.

We walked around a little since we got there early, watched the awesome fireworks and the lighting of the tree. Then pretty soon, it was time to line up. I kissed Dan and the kids and went to the starting line. I put my earbuds in, turned the music up and said a prayer. I was probably one of the only people there that was running "alone." Most people were in groups with friends, and I think that would be fun one day, but today I NEEDED to be alone. I prayed that God would protect my foot, give me strength, and get me through this! And we were off!!!!!! So many people that take this so seriously were pushing there way through, so I kind of jogged in place while the HUGE crowd bolted around me. Then, I got "in the zone." I focused on my music, looked at the pretty lights along the way and tried to just relax and enjoy the run...and I did. It was going great!! I started feeling pretty winded at one point and I heard a girl with a pedometer yell, "We just hit 2 miles!" All I could think was Oh my gosh, that's it! 2 miles! We have another to go...I'll never make it! I could stop now, try and find a shortcut back and just go home. No, I will not do that! I'm going to push through! And I did! I was really tired, and obviously many others were too. I noticed some stopping and walking, but really I wasn't paying much attention to others.

When we rounded a big corner, the cops directing traffic said, "You're almost there...this is the home stretch!" And all I could see when I came around was the finish line about 100 yards away! Oh my goodness, I was almost there! I was tired, but seeing that made me get a HUGE burst of energy! I gave it all I could. There were lines of people cheering. It was kind of like you see on a movie or something. It was surreal. But then I realized something. There was no one near me. The closest person in front of me was WAY in front, and there was no one on the sides of me. So, I just had to turn around real quick because I had that quick panic feeling that maybe I was THE very last person running, but thankfully there were alot of people I could see behind me. As I crossed the finish line, a man handed me a ticket.(I noticed him handing them to those ahead of me as well.) It was an emotional moment. I didn't cry, but for once I really felt proud of myself....I did it! I looked down at my ticket and it said 214 and had some blanks to fill out. I really didn't know what it meant. I found my family and they were so excited for me. Dan gave me my time, which was 32 minutes. I think my actual time was around 30 minutes since I didn't start right away due to the crowd. Either way, I thought my time was pretty good! Then I found out about that ticket and I was even more excited. I finished 214th out of over 1200 people!!!! Not too bad for my 1st time I don't think!

I am definitely hooked! I can't wait to do this again. I cannot compare that feeling to many others I have experienced. I know it was only 3 miles, but I have worked really hard for this, and running does not come natural for me. But to actually reach a goal was the biggest part for me. I did not stop short, or settle for less. I knew deep down that I could do it and actually reaching that goal and accomplishing this dream makes me so happy! I can't wait to do another one! I'm setting my program to train for 10K now. The thrill of the finish line makes all of it totally worth it!!!!

"I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." Phil. 4:13

Awful picture, but didn't think about taking one until we got home :/

Conditioning for the Journey

2010-11-08T13:07:00.001-08:00

This week marks the end of my running program. Instead of 8 weeks, it has taken me 13 due to a reoccuring foot injury. But regardless, I did it!!!! I can now run 3 miles nonstop!!! This is a huge accomplishment for me! I am very excited that I did this! Back in August, I would have NEVER thought I could do this. I thought it was crazy to think I would be capable of running 3 miles when I was so out of breath just running 3 driveways down the road. I quickly started realizing that this program was all about conditioning. It is training your body gradually. Instead of just running as far as you can and stopping, this program gives you run time, then walk time, and gradually lengthens your running time and decreases your walking time until you eventually have no breaks, you're just running! Without conditioning, my endurance was not there, my breathing was FAR from being there! It physically prepares you to be able to reach your goal. I highly recommend this program!

I have been posting a lot lately about following God's lead because this applies to my life so much right now. I really think I have been doing another kind of "conditioning" too. I think God has been conditioning my body, mind and soul for the "race" He has before me. I know what His calling is, but it is the journey there that is uncertain. I have really "let go and let God" in so many areas no matter how hard it is. And hard it has been. This past weekend, Dan and I had to make a very big decision...well, technically God made the decision for us, but we had to follow through with it. In following through with it, came disappointments. I really hate that, but we KNEW that God was telling us to do this, therefore we had no other option. I really don't want to get into details, but it was BIG. Something that has been so very important to us. In the disappointment though, comes the excitement and the anticipation of what lies around the corner. I know that God was closing a door because He has another one lined up for us to go through. I think this is part of the conditioning process that brings us through the trials and tests because we need to be ready for what lies ahead. If we were not trained, then we would not be prepared for the tasks down the road. Just like 3 months ago, I would not have been able to come close to running 3 miles. My body was not conditioned for it, but now it's hard to believe that I used to be winded after 1 minute of running!

Please pray for my family during this transition time. Pray that we stay aligned with His will through every decision that is set before us. Thank you so much!!!

Go check out Chris Tomlin's new song, "I Will Follow." (I tried to post the link but it wasn't working) This is my new favorite song. It is so relevant in my life right now. BE BLESSED!! :)

His shadow or mine?

2010-10-30T10:31:00.001-07:00

While I was running the other day, I kept noticing my shadow and how it changed size depending on the reflection and angles of the street lights I was passing. But no matter how many times the size of it changed, or the location(to the right or left of me), one thing ALWAYS stayed the same: it never left me. It followed my every move.

Sometimes I think that in my walk with the Lord, I "expect" that He will be with me wherever I go because that's what His Word says. I know He will never leave me or forsake me. But I think that sometimes I am so busy doing my own thing that I take advantage of the fact that He is there. I also just take the lead because I know He is with me.

This night I began to realize that maybe I should be waiting for His lead more often; even with the things that seem so small. That maybe I should be the shadow that moves with His every step. That no matter which way He leads, I will follow...right there....in perfect unison with Him. So that when others see me, they are seeing a glimpse of my Savior.

"He that dwelleth in the shelter of the most high; shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." Psalms 91:1

Glass in My Nest

2010-10-26T12:23:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been having an unsettling feeling. Not unsettled in a bad sense necessarily though. Unsettled as in where I am. Until recently I just thought that I had totally surrendered my life to the Lord....every part....holding back nothing. But I have come to realize that still had to stay somewhat within my limits; my comfort zone. You see, I have always loved the IDEA of moving away from Louisiana, but when it came to it actually happening, there was no way. My parents and I have always been close and it's really been a co-dependant relationship since my sister died. But as I look back over the last almost 4 years, what I thought was a negative thing may just have been God putting His plans into motion.

You see, my parents adopted my sister's oldest son(from her 1st marriage) in May 2008. Since then, I have felt pushed aside slightly, but I know not intentionally. They have been focusing on their now family of 3, so I have tried to focus more on my own home. I now think that God has been using this as a way to prepare their hearts as well as mine to change. I don't know when this change will take place, but I can honestly say that I think this change is going to take me completely out of my comfort zone. I think that relocation may be in His plan for the future; and for the first time in my life I can honestly say that I'm okay with that. I am in full submission to Him and where He leads our family to go to do His work.

I heard a sermon about a family that was very comfortable with their jobs, their home, their life in general and God started putting "glass in their nest." He started to make them a little unsettled and uncomfortable. He was preparing them for the change. It hit me like a ton of bricks! I had been feeling that way for awhile. I was actually looking at houses for sale and I LOVE my house! I now know what that feeling was for. I pray and ask God to guide and direct us so that we can accomplish and fulfill the call He has on our lives, but I guess I always assumed He'd revolve that around our beautiful home, in our beautiful neighborhood, in OUR town of Watson. Well, I'm starting to think otherwise. I think He wants us to be totally out of our comfort zone so that we can totally rely on Him. But He also knew that He had alot of work to do in me before I could accept that. So looking back over the last few years, NOW I can see how He has had his hand in the situation. I can see how His plan has been being put into play. I can see how he is turning what I thought was a bad thing into a necessary thing. He has taken the dependencies away from myself and my parents and made me be totally dependant on Him.

I can honestly say that if God opened a door for us to move tomorrow, I would jump in with both feet and a big smile on my face! I would miss my home, my family, my friends, etc, but if I know I'm in line with God's plan, then I know He'll work out all the kinks! So, for the first time ever, I'm okay with the glass. I don't want to be TOO comfortable if God's desire is for me to move to another nest. I can't wait to see what He has in store for us!

With Sickness Came a Cure

2010-10-24T14:45:00.000-07:00

Friday around 5:00, Dan & I dropped the 3 kiddos off at his parents house so that we could go have a little date. We had a wonderful meal at Portabellos. YUMMMM!! I got the Parmesan crusted chicken Caesar salad which was AMAZING! I didn't get pasta because I noticed carrot cake on the menu and I wanted to save a little room. I knew I would be bloated to the max if I went with pasta. Well, after the amazing salad, came the AMAZING carrot cake! I seriously have been craving carrot cake(which I hadn't eaten in YEARS before eating it for our anniversary in June) Now, I can't stop thinking about it! Well, it was awesome! It was warm and the warm icing was poured on top of it instead of just spread on it........yum......it was perfect :)

Then, we went to the theatre and saw "Life As We Know It." What a cute movie! We had a great time hanging out together more than anything. We picked up the kids about 10:00, then got them home, in bed, and we crashed too.......UNTIL........at about 3:30 AM I woke up with a slight stomach ache. I got out of bed and EXTREME nausea took over. I hurried to the fridge to grab the pepto, chugged it, and got to the couch. Within the next 30 minutes, I was SICK......VERY sick......like can't leave the bathroom sick......I think you get the picture. I seriously don't think I've puked that much since high school. I spent the rest of the night between the couch and bathroom.

Saturday around 8:00 am, Dan took the 2 older kids to his parents with him to split firewood, so I was only left with Noah. He was so good, thankfully, since I spent most of the morning in the bathroom. Dan and the others got home around noon, and I was just worn out. I was still nauseated, but mostly weak and tired. I couldn't hardly walk to the den without being out of breath and wanting to get back in bed. By dinner, I ate 2 pieces of toast, drank some powerade and went to bed right after getting the kids to bed at 8:00. I slept all night, but when I woke up I felt like I had been hit by a train! Dan took all the kids to church with him. I skipped out and let him handle worship without me. As weak as I was, I felt so much better. I had to tackle 8 loads of laundry! In between loads, I read my Bible and laid down. I gradually felt my strength coming back.

We have had a lazy afternoon, which turned out perfect for me. I think I'll be good as new in the morning! And as for carrot cake.....this bout with food poisoning/virus has totally CURED me of that craving! I don't want to see another slice of that for a VERY long time! It's was better going down than coming up! (Sorry! I know that was TMI!)

If you ever wondered what a skipped day of laundry for 5 people looks like!

"Let Go & Let God"

2010-10-20T11:01:00.001-07:00

This is a saying I heard many times in church growing up. I must say that it never truly took on such an important meaning to me until recently.

You see, I'm a bit of a control freak. Not in the sense of wanting to control people, but more situations and circumstances. I'm a fixer, peacemaker, mother hen, etc. I want to make sure that everything is in its place, organized, neat, and orderly. I like to make sure that life in general runs smoothly, efficiently and orderly. I feel like if I am "in control", then at least I know things will get taken care of.

So, here's my dilemma; I have a hard time letting go of problems that arise because I think that somehow I can make it better. I am, finally, realizing that there are plenty of things that are simply "out of my control." I am always asking God to help me with this and that, and until recently I was merely "asking." I knew that He was capable and I had faith that He would help me, but I also figured something else out. Even after praying and asking for help, I was still holding on to these burdens. I had not actually let go. I was choosing to continue carrying these things along, WHILE asking for help with them! I got a visual of God saying, "Ash, I got this one; just let go." But I was too busy complaining about the problem and asking for help to realize that He had already taken it from me. He was carrying it, but I was still going through the motions of carrying it. I had not released it all, completely and totally to Him to let Him handle. I still had my controlling little fingers wrapped around it allowing it to weigh me down. I wasn't paying enough attention to His voice telling me to let go. There's no telling how long He'd actually had His hand on that situation before I took the time to notice.

As important as I know it is to pray; it is equally important to listen....to hear from God....to be sensitive to His Spirit....and to acknowledge His awesome power. He is with us...ALWAYS. He is waiting patiently to carry our problems, to walk beside us, to help us, to give us comfort. But we have to be willing to accept His help. Don't just ask; receive it.....LET GO & LET GOD! Trust me, He's way better at handling anything than we are!

Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

A Little Peace, Quiet & Refueling

2010-10-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

School has been in session for 2 months now, so on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 9-2, I am ALONE...........alone........a word that I have not known for over 9 years!!! At first, it was weird, and I found that I got nothing accomplished. I worried mostly about Noah at Mother's Day Out. I knew Brayden and Addi were fine at school by now. I've also been keeping busy running the roads on those three days, but this week I decided to stay home. Let me tell you something; it was awesome! I know that all the kids are fine, therefore I am fine!

I spent my 4 hours washing clothes, starting dinner, and all the usual stuff; but I spent so much time in the Word. I have been neglecting it unintentionally, but it was time to MAKE time for it. And boy was it just what I needed!

Lately it just seems like one thing after another. I feel like a dog wagging my tail. But one minute I'm wagging out of excitement and happiness, and the next minute I'm wagging it just to swat off all the problems that are attacking my life. It's nothing major, just life issues that come up and have to be dealt with. And that is why I needed the Word....and some quiet prayer time.

Just when I felt like I was running on fumes, God filled me up again and gave me exactly what I needed. I love when He does that! Now I'm good to go!!!!!

Beauty on Display

2010-10-08T06:16:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I stand in awe of God's handiwork; and this is especially true with the sky. It amazes me that how at various times of the day, the sky can look so differently. Sometimes I just sit and stare and think how amazing His creation is. I think the sky must be like a blank canvas to Him and He just has a blast creating endless masterpieces to display!

I love to paint, and although I'm not that great, there is something awesome about sitting in front of a completely blank canvas and envisioning your next creation. I wonder if God does that sometimes. I wonder if He throws in a rainbow, or a beautiful sunset sometimes to get our attention. Well, it usually gets mine and I could sit and watch the sky as it slowly changes right before my eyes.

We are also God's masterpieces, and He is more proud of us than any of His other creations. I read a book once that had this analogy and I thought this was amazing; especially since as humans we tend to not see all of our worth and value all the time:

"The Mona Lisa sits on a wall, surrounding by guards 24/7, barricades blocking onlookers from coming too close. All of the artwork in the same building has prices next to them. They are not actually for sale, but they are giving an example of the worth of that particular piece. Every piece on display is WORTH tens of millions. But there is no price next to the Mona Lisa. Someone asks one of the guardsmen why there is no sign next to her. He says, "All of these paintings have a value to them, but she is priceless. Her worth is immeasurable."

WOW! If this not so large, not so beautiful, MAN-MADE work of art is priceless, can you imagine how much more valuable we are to our HEAVENLY Creator?!?! If the beautiful skies that we sit in awe of are God's masterpieces and we are amazed at their beauty, how much more amazed is God at our beauty?

Sometimes I think we just need to be reminded that WE are His prized possessions and OUR worth is immeasurable to Him!!!!

Have a GREAT weekend!!

Seasons of Life

2010-10-04T05:49:00.000-07:00

I am LOVING this crisp fall weather that we have been having for the last week here in South Louisiana! We don't usually have 4 defined seasons here, just a week or so of spring and fall(my 2 favorites) and then winter and miserably hot summer! So, I'm soaking this up!

I was thinking about the seasons of our life and how they come and go. I love the season of my life that I am in right now. My dream was to be a stay home Mom with a house full of kids, and I am totally living that! I also have known for years that Dan and I were called to the ministry, and I couldn't have been more thrilled when God opened the door for us to co-plant Real Life Church 3 months ago! God has been so good to us!

But just like everyone, we have things in our life that we need to get rid of and let go of in order for God to totally transform us into what HE wants us to be. Kind of like the leaves on the trees in Fall. These leaves turn colors due to the changing of the season; they are making a transformation. But it takes them actually "falling off" to make the total transformation. Sometimes we need to rid ourselves of all of the "dead leaves" that hold us back from the complete transformation that God has in store for us. We so desperately hold on to those "leaves" and they are dead, ugly leaves. If we would just let go of them, and let God transform us, Spring will come and He will fill our tree with beautiful green leaves because we will have room for them!! All because we have released the dead ones! Sometimes I think we all fall short of some of the blessings that God has in store for us because we are holding on to things that are lifeless and ugly. We keep them for some type of fulfillment but actually they are not fulfilling at all and in turn we are missing out on the complete fullness of God. Sometimes the only way to reach His fullness is to totally strip down to nothing; just like the trees do. Even though the trees look bare and dry with no leaves, they are anticipating the fullness the spring leaves will bring! They will be far much better that the ugly dead ones that they are so desperately hanging on to.

The only way to reach the fullness though is to release the lifeless!!!! If it isn't prosperous and life giving, then we need to get rid of it and make room for the fullness of God! Becoming bare and broken before God is exactly what He wants us to do so that we can totally depend on Him. In turn, He will bless us abundantly!

Craziness!!!!! :o)

2010-09-27T09:07:00.002-07:00

So, the last week has been SUPER hectic! I was preparing for a bridal shower at my house for a sweet friend. I was the ONLY hostess, so it was alot of work, but totally worth it! I love that kind of stuff even though the process TOTALLY stresses me out!

In the process of getting ready for the shower, I had a follow up appointment with my endocrinologist last Thursday. I was getting my test results from last month. The reason I went in the first place is because I seem to be putting on weight for no apparent reason, feeling very sluggish, losing LOTS of hair, and just not feeling quite right. Someone referred me to him because he tests alot of things that most doctors don't. When I went, I really liked him. He was the most thorough doctor I have EVER gone to. He told me that my right thyroid was slightly enlarged, which was not totally shocking to me since I thought my issues may be thyroid related. He also told me I was not "technically" overweight, but since all of my extra weight is carried in the middle, I could possibly have some insulin issues.

Well, when I went Thursday, I had pretty much figured they would tell me that one of those 2 things were wrong with me. Well, I was very wrong! I was actually pretty surprised with the results. First, he told me that for my age, my Vitamin D levels should be between 75 and 150. Mine were 21!!!!(which would totally explain why I've broken my foot over and over). I was kind of glad to hear that and to know that all he had to do was prescribe me Vitamin D and that would get better. He also told me that my B-12 level was at 50 when it should be about 100. This would explain my sluggishness. Then he told me my thyroid was perfect, and there was NO WAY I was insulin resistant. My sugars, insulin, glucose, etc was great! That was great news....until he said my estrogen and testosterone levels were WAY off. He said that usually happens to women in their early 30's(I'm 31), and the fact that I had 3 kids in 5 years probably had something to do with it. But he said this totally explains the hair loss. Then he told me that my liver function was not right either(this was surprising). He said the part of the liver that works alongside metabolizing food was basically NON-functioning. He said this was my biggest problem and would definitely explain why, no matter how much I exercise, and how little I eat, I can't lose the weight! So, he prescribed a hormone balancing medicine, a liver medicine, and vitamin D & B-12. The bad news is that the liver med and the hormone med have pretty extreme side effects....SEVERE nausea and vomiting, dizziness, etc. I can't function like that, especially with 3 kids! So I asked if I could start with a lower dosage, and he thought that was a good idea. So, last night I started them, and this morning I feel fine! I'm praying that if I gradually increase the dosages, that the side effects won't come! Please pray for me too!!! I hope this does the trick in a short amount of time because I'm not a very good medicine-taker!!! HAHA! :)

Heather, the beautiful bride-to-be!

Remembering Samuel

2010-09-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

Today is Samuel Luke Darce's 2nd Birthday. He's celebrating in heaven, and I'd like to think that my sister is holding him up there and loving on him since we can't down here. Samuel is the second born son of my best friend Sarra. When Sarra and Ian went to her 20 week ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby, their world fell apart. They found out that Samuel had Trisomy 13 and it was unlikely that he would survive. I will never forget that day. Hearing my best friend cry and tell me the awful news was unbearable. How could this be? They had a perfectly healthy 1 year old son! It didn't make sense.

Through several months of crying, praying, and BEGGING God for a miracle, Samuel was born 6 weeks early and weighed 3 lbs 10 oz. They immediately treated him as if he could be saved. They hooked him up to machines, monitors, etc and we all waited. Waited for doctors and specialists to make all of their evaluations. We were all praying....we all had some sort of hope....until the 2nd day. Every doctor came to the same conclusion. Samuel could not survive off of these machines...ever.....there was no surgery, nothing that would make him better. They had to let him go.

So, at a mere 2 days old, Sarra and Ian held their tiny son and said goodbye while he peacefully left this world. On this day I realized what a strong friend I actually had. She was unselfish enough to let him go. I can't imagine.....but she loved him enough to let him go...to let him be healed.

Sarra has recently given birth to another perfect and healthy little boy. We often talk about what her life "should" be like right now with 3 boys only 3 years apart. But instead it is just the noise of 2 boys around the house. It's so hard for her every single day and I can't even relate. I can't let myself even think about losing a child. But she is such a wonderful mother, and from the outside you would never know that she had this broken heart every single day.

Please say a prayer for my sweet friend. She needs strength daily. She is such an amazing person and I love her so much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMUEL! We love you so much & can't wait to hold you one day :)

As Drew Brees would say, I'm "Coming Back Stronger!"

2010-09-20T19:14:00.001-07:00

So, I officially started back to my running plan again tonight. I had intended to get back on track last week, but we had lots going on and I only got one run in, so I decided to wait until today. (I always do better with goals when I start on Mondays...is that weird? OCD? maybe a little I guess) Anyway, as I said in one of my recent posts, I had gotten so much better with my running and had been going consistently for 6 weeks until the DREADED left foot started giving me problems AGAIN! So, I gave it even more time that I actually thought I needed to because I did not want to overdue it and re-injure it again. A few weeks ago, I went to Varsity Sports because everyone told me I HAD to go get my running shoes from there because they evaluate your foot and find the right shoe for you. Well, they were so right! That place was AWESOME! The people were so friendly, and unbelievably helpful. They were very knowledgeable and they took their time with me. The guy that helped me watched me walk, run, jump, and gave me several shoes to pick from. He went and got ALL of them and helped me try them on. He never rushed me. He really wanted me to find the perfect shoe. Well, I finally settled on some Mizunos. (never tried these before, but they're amazing!) After I picked vthem, he said that is the most popular shoe right now. As for the looks of it, I would have never picked it, but comfort and support is what I need, and these seemed perfect!

So, after trying to start back last week, I realized how much of a set back 4 weeks had been! My endurance, my breathing....everything! I WAS BUMMED! But one thing was ertain; my shoes ROCKED! So, tonight I hit the pavement and decided to go back to week 2 of my program. (That made me feel better than going back to week 1!) I made it through better than I thought I would! It felt great to be back out there running. I was thinking about how discouraging it is that I'm back at week 2 instead of week 10, but it could be alot worse. I really feel like sometimes we have set backs in life for important reasons. We may not understand them at the time, and we may never understand them, but there is a reason. I mean, we have all heard the 9/11 stories about people that worked at the twin towers and for "some reason" on that morning, they spilled their coffee on their clothes and had to go back home to change, couldn't catch a cab, etc. They didn't understand at the time why everything was going SO wrong that morning that was causing them to be so late to work. But it didn't take them long to be thankful for those delays.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not at all trying to compare my little stress fracture/ sprain thingy to the tragedy on 9/11. My point is that sometimes things that seem so bad at the time are just set-backs for a reason. I don't know if that is the case with me or not. Who knows, maybe if I would have kept on running, I would have had a much worse injury since I was not running with proper shoes, or maybe I just have a weak foot that drives me nuts and there is no lesson to be learned here. But you know me, I'm always looking to learn something :) All I know is that I am coming back stronger this time. This set-back is going to make my endurance better, and strengthen my foot in the process. I LOVE Drew Brees' book "Coming Back Stronger." I'm not a big reader, but his story is so inspirational. I am not aspiring to be some BIG Olympic runner or anything, but I WILL run a 5K VERY soon! It's a goal, and it may be tiny to some, but it's my goal, and I'm going to achieve it! And who knows, maybe I'll go bigger after that! I really think this set-back is extra motivation for me!

Can't wait to reach my goal!!!!

This is Brayden with his autographed copy of Drew Brees' book. He was so happy to meet him! He told Drew he was his hero! I think he's a great role model for kids & adults!

Waiting, waiting, waiting........

2010-09-13T13:16:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard to wait????? No matter what the situtation, it just always seems SO HARD! Waiting for an appointment, waiting for dinner to cook, waiting for your babyto arrive, waiting for your vacation, etc, etc, etc.......

Well, waiting on God is no different; at times it seems worse! I am lacking in the patience department(if you can't already tell), so when I'm waiting on God I sometimes get frustrated. I guess because I know there is NO WAY TO RUSH GOD! I mean, He's GOD, right? It seems so strange how sometimes you pray and seek God and the answer comes so quickly, just as plain as day. Other times, it seems to take longer, or you question the answer because you aren't sure if it is actually "you" or God. But then there are times like this that I keep seeking God and literally BEGGING for an answer(preferably on a billboard with flashing lights so there is no doubt it's God!) But who am I to think I can manipulate God into giving me an answer WHEN I want it and HOW I want it. Sometimes I think He may be sitting up there laughing about how controlling I must sound when I pray. :(

Anyway, I keep singing to myself, "Strength will rise as we WAIT UPON THE LORD, WAIT UPON THE LORD, WAIT UPON THE LORD." I'm hoping that will sink in soon! At the rate I'm going in the waiting process I should be strong as an ox, yet soaring like an eagle!

Sorry for the random ramble! Just ready to hear from God! On a better note, I walked 3 miles this morning with my dog in this fabulous fall-ish weather!! I even ran about a half mile for the first time since re-injuring my foot. I'm going to try to run tonight on my program. I'm just going to go back on it a few weeks so I don't overdue it. I'm ready to get back in the swing of it! Pray that my foot cooperates please!!!!!

Happy 6th Birthday Baby Girl!!!!

2010-09-11T20:20:00.000-07:00

Well, today is Addi's 6th birthday...I can't believe it! It seems like just yesterday I was bringing home my tiny little 5 lb 13 oz bundle of joy. Well, she actually weighed 6 lbs 7 oz when she was born, but started losing so much weight that she actually had to go to occupational therapy daily to learn how to suck properly and almost put her back in the hospital with a feeding tube, but luckily she gained quickly! All in all, she has been high maintenance from day 1! HAHA! I can't imagine life without our little princess! She is such a girly girl and I am so thankful for that! (especially with 2 boys!)

So, to say the last week has been hectic, is an understatement! I had some "crafty" things to do to get ready for Addi's slumber party and it seems like when I'm in a "crafty mood" I make even more projects for myself! So, I decided to make this a project blog/Addi's birthday blog! So here goes:

Addi needed a desk and a toy chest. I remembered my parents had my old ones in their attic, so instead of going buy new ones(which would have been LOTS easier), I decided to sand, paint, and completely re-do my old ones. Well, THAT project ended up being HUGE! But I really am happy with the end result! And I think it's neat that Addi gets to use my old stuff too. I just wish I would have taken "before" pics :( I changed the hardware on the desk too to match Addi's dressers and nightstands that I did last year(which was also my old furniture). Addi LOVES the glass knobs; she calls them "diamond knobs." :) So I ended up spending about $25 on a desk and toy chest instead of several hundred! YAY!

So, after that, I decided I would make rag flops for all the girls as a party favor for Addi's party. I loved the way they turned out too, but let's just say this took WAY too many trips to Hobby Lobby because obviously I have a counting problem! :/

By Thursday, I was trying to get the cupcakes made for the party. I found this idea online and thought it would be easy....well, not so much! The heads kept falling off, and they didn't look nearly as cute as the pics online, so I was totally frustrated! I LOVED the way they finally turned out and they were definitely a hit! I just don't think I would ever spend an hour and a half decorating 8 cupcakes again! UGHHH!!!!

By noon on Thursday I realized I had not bought Addi any tennis shoes for their Saints Day at school. I bought her a cheer uniform and everything, but FORGOT the shoes!!! So I ran to the store to try and get some cheap plain white ones(It's kind of a pet peeve of mine when girls wear multi color shoes with cheer uniforms. it looks ugly to me, so i wanted white. LOL!) I couldn't find any, so I decided to grab some cheap black flip flops, black and gold ribbon, and some football ribbon and make more rag flops(really more like ribbon flops) So, here comes another project! Luckily, it only took about 30 minutes to do and they were really cute too! So you can imagine my frustration when the kids got home and said one of the dress code rules for Friday was NO FLIP FLOPS! You've got to be kidding me?!?! So we ran to the shoe store and found some "not so cheap" white tennis shoes because this Momma is OCD.

"Saints Flops" she couldn't wear :/

Addi in her "plain white" tennis shoes :)

Brayden & Addi before school(notice the early morning project of painting Brayden's face! LOL)

So by the time Friday evening got here, I was exhausted from the whole week. But we had 4 girls come over and they had a blast! They ate pizza, had cupcakes, did fashion shows, painted nails, and I gave them a picture frame craft to do.(imagine that!) they came out really cute! I printed out a picture of all of them and put it in their frames to bring home.

By 10 PM, Addi was OUT! She was the first one to give up, then Faith at 10:15, Kyleigh at 10:30, McKinley at 10:45.....and then there was Jane....poor Jane :( She got upset and missed her Mom. She was crying about a stuffed animal and I tried to console her, but I knew she just wanted to go home. Her Mom warned me this might happen. Luckily they live right across the street :) So, about 11:45, Jane went home. I slept(if you want to call it that) on the sofa in case any of them woke up and were scared. I got about 2 hours combined of sleep! They had donuts and played until 10AM when Momma's came to get them! It was one wild night, but it reminded me of the "old days" and how much I loved slumber parties! Girls are so much fun! And it was all worth it when every one of the girls kept saying, "This is the funnest party EVER!!!" (they may say that at every party they go to, but I'd like to think not!) And when everybody was gone, Addi gave me the biggest bear hug and said, "You're the best Mommy in the whole wide world because this was the bestest party in the universe!!!!!!" That made my whole stressful week all worth it! :)

Slow Down & Breathe

2010-08-31T11:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I am bummed...BEYOND bummed actually! I have injured my left foot AGAIN. This foot has given me problems since 6th grade! Last year I managed to break it twice! Once during aerobics, and the second time was on our family vacation in San Antonio. But I can honestly say that as upsetting as my injuries always are; this one tops them all. Why? Because I have gotten so close to my goal for running the 5k. I have been working so hard for 5 weeks and have gotten to the point of comfortably running 2 miles. I know this may not sound like a whole lot for some, but trust me, this is HUGE for me! (remember, I HATE running!) I have been so faithful with it and have pushed myself harder than ever before because I really wanted to reach this goal and run a fall marathon. Well, Friday night while I was running, I noticed my foot was getting sore, but I just figured it was because the program is getting harder. By the time I was ready for bed, I could barely walk and it was throbbing terribly. After last summer's injury, the orthopedist told me that the bone I broke is the largest bone and is very proned to stress fractures once it has been badly broken. GREAT! I figured that must be what happened.

I was thinking about my run(before the pain started) and while I was running I noticed how much quieter my breathing has gotten since starting the program. Several posts back I was saying how LOUD and obnoxious my breathing was and I can honestly say that has gotten alot better. I also noticed how I have gotten more relaxed when I run. I concentrate on relaxing my hands instead of clinching my fists. I try to make it more of a "natural" motion. I've been trying to take longer strides instead of short, quick motions. And as hard as the running is, I have really noticed huge improvements in my stamina. I was thinking about this in comparison to the craziness of life as well. I think sometimes we are in such a hurry to get things done and going a million miles a minute. Sometimes I'm so overloaded and stressed that I don't even take a break. It was all kind of sinking in BEFORE my foot started hurting, and I wish I could have just gotten the whole point MINUS the injury, but at least I got it.

You see, this world is crazy and life is REALLY hectic. I mean, raising 3 young kids, keeping up with our home, juggling homework, extra curricular activities, etc is not easy. And starting a church on top of all of this has loaded my plate more than ever before. It's all great things, don't get me wrong, but I think sometimes we just need to take a time out---relax---breathe---slow down.......and if we don't, it's going to catch up with us somehow! Then it becomes a forced time out...on the sofa....with ice packs on an elevated foot!!!! GRRRRR........

Refreshing Weekend!

2010-08-23T12:36:00.001-07:00

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to attend the "Beautiful" Women's Conference at Istrouma Baptisit Church. I have to admit that the main reason I wanted to go was to hear Kari Jobe! I LOVE her! The speaker was Angela Thomas, and I had never heard of her before, but let me tell you, that woman was AMAZING! She is one of my new favorite people! LOL! I got so beyond blessed while I was there! The worship was phenominal, and not just becasue Kari has an amazing voice. She is so annointed, and is not there to "perform", but to worship! It was such a wonderful experience! Angela spoke on seeing ourselves as beautiful because that is the way that God sees his girls. She made it so relatable, nad she was a riot too!

So, besides the great worship, wonderful speaking, having girl time with some great friends, and bumping into lots of other friends; I think one of the very last statements made was the one that made the MOST impact on my life. It was one of those "slap ya in the face" moments. As Kari Jobe was closing, she said how she hoped that everyone experienced the love of God at the conference no matter what they were going through. She said that sometimes we are so overwhelmed with the bad things going on that we don't think we can go on, but God will never give us more than we ca handle, and if we feel like we have more than we can handle, then maybe we are carrying burdens that aren't meant for us to carry. WOW! That was it for me! I have heard my whole life that God won't give you more than you can handle, and at times I have felt like He must not be talking about me because I was sure to maximum capacity. But that statement really made me check my life and see taht alot of the burdens that I carry really may not be mine to carry.

I believe that everyone has a "cross" to bear. But if I am carrying around all of these other crosses that aren't even mine, then I am less effective at carrying the one that I am actually intended to carry. If I can rid myself of those other "crosses", then maybe I won't feel overwhelmed and exhausted and pushed to the limit. Because as a woman, and a mother, I like to be the "fixer." I like to try to fix everyone's problems or pain. I tend to let their issues wear me down when they really shouldn't affect me so much. I am going to start soul searching whenever I feel so worn out and see if I'm lugging around crosses that don't even belong to me. Because I want to effectively carry the cross that is placed upon me, and the rest I want to allow Jesus to carry for me!

Growing Pains!

2010-08-14T18:22:00.000-07:00

Well, our church that we just planted on June 27th is already experiencing MAJOR growing pains. But that is a GREAT prediciment to be in! God has brought in new families and the facility that we have been able to co-lease is now too small for us. We are so excited that this is going on, but we have to find a new facility SOON!

Please be in prayer for RealLife Church and all of our church family. We have several options that we are prayerfully considering. We want to be able to comfortably accomidate all who want to experience the one and only REAL GOD!!! God is so good and I know that he is going to provide the perfect place for us, but we would appreciate any prayers!

Thanks so much! I'll keep you posted on our progress. It's been the most crazy busy 2 months of our lives, but when you are being obedient to God's calling, it is SO worth it!!

Quick Quote by Noah :)

2010-08-09T14:41:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time to blog, but I had to share my sweet Noah's quote for the day. We were driving down a rather curvy road this morning on our way to the store, I'm guessing that he started feeling a little car sick maybe?? He said in a very whiny voice, " Mommyyyyyyy, I think my tummy has fever!" I looked in my rear view mirror and he had a very "green" look on his face, so I pulled over because I really thought he was about to, well, you know.....YUCK! But, he didn't, and it must have passed because he was back to his old self pretty quick!

I just thought this was too cute not to share :)

Lightning

2010-08-04T20:16:00.001-07:00

So, tonight I went for my run again. I'm doing the Couch to 5K thing because I have always wanted to run a marathon of some sort, and by golly, I'm going to do it this time!!!! Anyway, as I headed out after dark, I noticed some serious heat lightning, so I ran inside to double check with my meterologist husband(not really, but sometimes I think he may have missed his calling! haha) and he said as long as it was cloud to cloud and no bolts, it was fine. So, since that was all it was, I set out for my run.

I took a different route this time so I wouldn't get bored, and because there is a creepy Indian doctor on my street that kind of "strolls" around at night down our street. I got almost to the front of my neighborhood(we live 1.5 miles from the entrance) and I noticed a few bolts of lightning and some thunder way off in the distance. I wasn't too nervous though because it really seemed far away. As I was running back I started really watching the light show that was all around me. I noticed how even when there was no sound, that the clouds seemed to light up in a pathway that stretched all the way across the sky. Then when a bolt would go across, it would stretch and stretch and light everything along it's path. It really was amazing to watch and just marvel at God's handywork!

It also made me think about how neat it would be if I could be like that bolt of lightning; that no matter where I went, I radiated God's love, even without making a sound. If just my mere actions of reaching out so far and touching everyone around me in some way could reflect the amazing light that I have inside of me that would in turn be given to them to shine! Kind of like a chain reaction! That even when I feel like there is no one else out there to reach, one more bolt branches from another and I reach them! I so desire to be the light in the darkness and help win souls to Christ! He has changed my life so much that I want everyone to experience His love, grace, mercy & power!!!!

Ready for Friday!!!!

2010-08-02T14:35:00.001-07:00

I am so ready for Friday to get here because.....drumroll please..........SCHOOL STARTS!!!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids, but it is TIME!!! I have thoroughly enjoyed our summer, between beach vacation, fun days, lazy days, and days full of church planning, but I am ready to get back in a routine! My kids are much sweeter and happier when they are on a routine of going to bed at 8. I am NOT ready for the LOADS of homework, calling out tests, dragging out of bed, etc that comes along with school, but all in all I am ready for a change. Here's why I'm ready:

DURING THE SUMMER:

By 7:30 AM, my kids are fighting about who breathes louder, who chews too loud, who has the worst morning breath, who got the most milk in their cereal, who finished their breakfast first, and on and on and on......

By 8:30 AM, at least one kid has been fussed at, or punished from some activity for the day

By 9:30 AM, at least one kid has run to their room, attempted to slam their door, and is laying on their bed throwing a fit

By Noon, all of the kids have expressed how much they dislike their siblings, and sometimes even how much they dislike me

By 2pm, I am starting supper and they suddenly like each other again while watching Suite Life of Zack & Cody(which I can quote pretty much every episode of by now!)

By 5pm when Dan gets home, it's total chaos again with everyone's toys strung out over the entire house while they complain about how bored they have been because they have NOTHING to do!

6pm-9pm is usually a total blur between the whining, arguing, and attempt to have "family time" that I am SO ready to get them in their beds so I can collapse on my bed!!!!

DURING THE SCHOOL YEAR:

They don't talk, fight , complain, or argue during breakfast because they are not really "morning people" so they prefer to not talk at all while eating(which is fine with me!)

By 7:30 AM, they are on the bus headed to school

About 3:45 PM, they get off the bus, show me their papers, have a snack, start their homework, but most importantly they GET ALONG....why???? because they actually miss each other during the day and want to have time together. It's really nice! They talk about their day at school to each other. Brayden and Addi usually see each other at school a few times too so I think that's pretty neat. They are excited to see Noah too!

By 8PM, everyone is in BED! No complaining because they are worn out. And Dan and I get a good 2 hours of awake time together. I LOVE that :)

This year, Noah starts Mother's Day Out. He will go Mon, Wed, and Fri from 9-2. I'm excited about this because he really needs to learn to play better with other kids and stuff like that, but I'm sad too because my baby is growing up too fast! It's hard to believe that all of Noah's "firsts" will be my "lasts" since he's my baby :(
But I love his school and I know he will enjoy it.

I love my kids so much and even though you may think they are the biggest brats on the face of the earth after reading this, they really are good kids and they truly love each other. I am so blessed to be a Stay Home Mom and experience so much with them, and summer time really is one of those fun times. I've enjoyed it so much until the last few weeks! haha! You know how it gets when there is just too much "togetherness?!?!?!"

Facing Fears to Reach Goals

2010-07-30T06:13:00.000-07:00

Last night I decided to go for a run. Let me just say this, "I HATE running!!!!" I used to wake up at 5am before school and go running and I loved it! But then again, I was only hauling about 95 lbs around! In my work out experiences I have found that running is such an effective way to shed the lbs. I just don't enjoy it at all anymore! I'm trying to MAKE myself do it for 2 weeks and see what results I get and hopefully that will motivate me to enjoy it more.

So, I'm doing pretty good considering I haven't run in a very long time. I actually ran about a mile I guess. Now, in order to get the full visual, let me explain. I'm not a "pretty runner" You know those people that look more like they're "frolicking" down the road gracefully and totally enjoying themselves. I don't frolick and there is NOTHING graceful about my form. I'm not light on my feet, so it sort of sounds like I'm stomping down the road. I also need to do some breathing exercises because I sound like I'm DYING!!!! I mean, people inside their houses can probably hear my heavy breathing and of course my stomping!!!! (Oh well, I'm trying!) So, my goal was to round this last street and circle around back to my house; but instead, I STOPPED. There was a HUGE dog in the middle of the street. It was one I have never seen around the neighborhood either. I really wanted to go that way because it would make my run a little longer. But I was afraid to go near that dog! Don't get me wrong, I like dogs and I'm not afraid of every dog, but I don't know this dog. As soon as I turned around I hear it running towards me. Let me tell you what, I broke out in a full fledged RUN!!!! I made it back to my house in record time only to look behind me and realize the dog was gone and I don't know how long it had been gone. It may not have even chased me that far! But anyway, I was DONE running for the night!

So, while I was taking a bath, I was thinking about that experience. I couldn't help but think about how that dog cut my run short. It got in the way of the direction I was going. It made me think about how many times that happens in everyday life. We are on the right track with our goals in sight and we get distracted and doubtful and give up. Now, I'm not saying I should have done that differently in this situation since it was an animal that could potentially hurt me! LOL But sometimes it's just the fear of the unknown that makes us fall short of our goals, and in turn, leads us in a totally different direction. I have done that so many times in my life in so many different situations. Sometimes I feel like I've missed out on opportunities because I've let my insecurities and fears stand in the way. I feel like I have so many goals and dreams, but I get almost there and I give up.

Anyway, it's not New Years, but I'm making an August resolution! I'm not going to let anything get in the way of me reaching my goals. Whether it's physical, emotional, relational, or whatever area the goals are! I'm going to face whatever fears get in the way, and go for it! There is no greater feeling than when you work so hard for something and then accomplish it, and I guess maybe I haven't done that i a while, so I'm overdue!!!

Zumba!!!

2010-07-26T19:46:00.003-07:00

So, I went with a friend tonight to try Zumba. I have been wanting to try it for awhile and I did a sampler back in May before a 5K, and it seems like something I'd like. So I went, and I LOVED it! I love latin music and this is more like a hip hop latin, so it really gets you moving! I am kind of convinced that my body is not designed to move some of those ways, but it is fun trying!! Don't get me wrong, I can shake my booty with the best of them, but this is different. Even though I find myself farely coordinated, there were lots of moves that were difficult for me. But it was fun trying anyway! I highly recommend it to anyone who likes to dance, do aerobics, and SWEAT! I'd love to know how many calories I actually burned while having fun!!
Anyway, I'm going to bed! This body is wiped out!!!! Good night....

That's me on the right...HAHAHA!!!!!

I'm not complaining....just frustrated!!!

2010-07-23T21:46:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't blogged in ages, and I decide last night I want to re-do my whole page(which BTW, my friend Melissa pretty much did for me in the 1st place!) I am lacking in the computer patience department...ALOT!!! Anyway, I tried to delete the pics of my kids on the side and I made a really cute little column of pics only to realize that I obviously deleted my OPTION to have pictures on the sidebar!!!! UGHHH!!!! Now it's almost midnight, I have 4 kids sleeping and a snoring husband, and I still don't like my page!

I am frustrated though...I am NOT complaining....because.....I have vowed to try my hardest to NOT complain this week. Our women's Bible Study posed that challenge at the end of Tuesday night's session. It compaired complaining to "whistling for the devil." You know like when you whistle for a dog to come? Basically you are inviting the devil to come join you and it becomes one BIG pity party! I loved that analogy because it seems so true. You know how when you complain, it always makes you feel a little better to hear someone else chime in and whine with you? Kinda like "misery likes company?" It makes me feel like my complaining is justified if someone else is involved. But I really don't want to be whistling for the devil! I have enough going on to deal with him coming running and wagging his tail!(if he even has one!)

So, I'm about to go to bed, and just whistle for the blog fairy to come while I sleep instead! Maybe when I wake up, my page will be amazing....probably not, but I sure wouldn't COMPLAIN if it was :) Good night!

A Big Mother's Day Realization

2010-05-10T11:09:00.000-07:00

I say all the time how blessed I truly am, but yesterday I thought about it on a different level. I have thought about things like this before, but it is one of those things that hurts too much to think about totally, so you just don't go there. Well, besides having the most wonderful husband and 3 most amazing kids, I have so much more to be thankful for. Here is how my day went, and my first 2 sentences will make more sense.

We went to church yesterday morning and my parents go there also so I got to sit next to my Mom during church. After church, we went to Deangelo's for lunch with my parents. This is where I think God wanted to teach me something; and it wasn't about resisting the temptation of a pepperoni calzone either! It was a far more valuable lesson! While waiting for our table, my 3 kids and my 12 year old nephew where reading menus and goofing off. In walks a family of 4, plus the grandmother. You couldn't help but notice the oldest son. He was 6, but looked more like about 4. He had a very short haircut, but you could see how blonde his hair was. He was energetic, but different than my kids and all of the other kids there. He plopped down on the bench right next to Brayden and my nephew Brantley. They looked surprised to see this tiny guy looking right at them with a disposable mask with rainbow ribbon tied around the back of his head. I had no time to warn the boys of "what NOT to say" and I was a little unsure of what their reactions may be. Brayden is a very sensitive kid and we have had the discussion about kids with disabilities and so forth, but I didn't recall ever talking to him about kids that have to wear masks for various illnesses. My nephew Brantley is pretty immature for his age and he tends to talk when he really should shut up, so I was more nervous about his reaction. The boys all started talking and before we knew it, they were telling each other their names. His name was Noah, so my Noah jumped on over to talk after hearing this. I tried to listen to their conversation to make sure that it was appropriate, but it was so crowded and noisy that I was missing some. Then, the hostess called their group for their table. As they got up, the Mom of the boys handed my nephew what appeared to be a business card, smiled at me and said, "Happy Mother's Day" and they went to their table. Brantley read the card and handed it to me. It said in bold letters: PLEASE PRAY FOR ME
It went on to talk about Noah and how he was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia 2 years ago. He still has weekly treatments here and at St. Jude. It has a picture of him on the card smiling so big and another of him with his little brother. It gives a website where you can read his story and get updates on him. On the back of the card reads,
Noah's Life Verse :"I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Brayden immediately said, "Momma, that's our verse too!" This was one of my favorite scriptures as a child, so I painted this on canvases in the kids bedrooms and they all know it by heart and recite it often.

All day long I thought about this family. I thought about how special Mother's Day must be for them in the midst of such a battle. I thought about how hard every day must be when you have a child with such an awful condition. It made me feel guilty about how much I sweat the small things. Or how "inconvenienced" I get when I have a house full of sick kids.(and by sick I mean, strep throat or a 24 hour stomach bug!) And here is this couple who have truly "walked through the valley" and they are smiling at ME and telling ME "Happy Mother's Day!" It was humbling to say the least!

We went and visited my Mother-in-law after and I kept thinking about this family. At bedtime we all go in one of the kids rooms(a different one each night) and we all say prayers in there and then Dan and I tuck each one in. We were in Brayden's room and right before we prayed, Brayden said, "We can't forget to pray for Noah from DeAngelo's." It made me smile when he said it and smile even more when he prayed. He asked God to heal his body and take away his cancer. It was so simple, yet so sweet. It made me so proud.

When I fell asleep last night, I was thinking about this family again and praying for their strength because I truly cannot understand what they are going through, but I would imagine that strength and peace are essential in a situation like this. I only have one incident that can sort-of compare, but not really. But it made me think about it. Last March, Noah went to the Dr for his 2 year check up. Everything looked fine except his Dr pointed out something about his eyes that he wanted to send him to an opthamologist for. He said Noah's eyes looked like maybe one of them was slightly crossing, but sometimes it is a "false" crossing where it just gives the appearance of crossing, but it actually isn't. He referred us to a specialist. When I left the pediatrician's office, I was almost unfazed. I just knew it had to be the "false" crossing because I had never even noticed this before. Well, we got into the eye Dr in May and I really felt like it was a waste of time. After the Dr came in he started checking for the crossing and he said, "Good news! It is pseudostrabismus, which is "false" crossing." Well, I knew it! I wasted my time, my $30 copay, I knew nothing was wrong with his eyes! He said he would just finish the eye exam while we were already there and then we would be done. He said all he needed to do was check his optic nerve. Well, within minutes of checking, and rechecking, and rechecking, and rechecking(then having to be held down by me and the nurses) the Dr started frantically writing in Noah's chart without saying a word. I still wasn't really concerned but I was aggravated that he wasn't saying anything. He finally said, "We have a problem. We need to get Noah in for a CT of his brain." What? I thought we were looking at his eyes??? He explained that Noah's left optic nerve was extremely swollen and there were some "spots" around it. I was totally confused. I asked what that meant and he was very vague. He said there are some reasons that this may happen, but he really didn't want to get into too many details until we got the scan results. I don't think so Doc! You've said enough already and I want to know the WHOLE deal! The nurse came in and handed me a slip to go the next morning for his scan and she kept giving me this sympathetic smile. I was so confused, but scared to death at this point. He told me that sometimes if there is a mass in the brain, the optic nerve gives this appearance. I am freaking out at this point! I am by myself, crying and wishing Dan was with me. But remember, I thought this was a simple appointment, not anything like it was turning out to be.

To make a long story short, after praying, crying and agonizing, we went in for the CT the next morning. Noah had to be put to sleep for it and Dan and I were allowed to be with him during the scan. We sat in the chairs on the side of the room while his tiny, limp body went into this giant machine. Dan and I held hands and said nothing. I think we were both thinking the same thing and praying the same thing. This test could change everything.....everything! We could very soon find out horrible news about our precious son. But we were begging God that wouldn't be the case. For 40 minutes, we waited with huge knots in our stomachs.....that was the longest 40 minutes of my life.

We ended up getting good news about the scan. Obviously it was just an abnormality with Noah's optic nerve. He does have drusen, which were the "spots" around it. That is simply calcium deposits that do no harm. All of our fears and worries were put to rest! Praise God, our baby was fine! And that was it! Life was back to normal and everything was great. But I will never forget that gut wrenching feeling at the moment you think something may be horribly wrong with your child. It is indescribable. I hope I never feel that again as long as I live. But here was this Mom who has looked death in the eye with her son time and time again, he makes it through time and time again, yet the battle is far from over.

My point of all of this rambling is that as truly thankful as I am for everything God has blessed me with, I know that I take things for granted. My children's health is one of those things. I feel like my world is falling apart when we are stuck at the house for a few days because we have one, two, or even all three sick at one time, but look how much I have to be thankful for! I am sure this mom would love to be stuck at home for a few days with a child with strep throat! But instead she has this daily battle that I'm sure is in a tangled web of fear and uncertainty and she can smile at me and my 3 healthy children and genuinely say "Happy Mother's Day." I pray that I can become more aware of the blessing of healthy children. I mean, I'm sure all mothers have seen a St. Jude's commercial and thought how horrible that must be, or seen a disabled child and thought, how do they do it? But for some reason, this family, this child, and especially this mom really got to me. There will never be a day that I take that for granted or don't thank God for it again. I also pray that I can learn not to sweat the small stuff because in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter if your kid's shoes don't match, or they get in bed 10 minutes past bedtime, or you have a little dirt on your floors?

So, that was my Mother's Day realization......humbling to say the least!

What A Weekend!!!

2010-05-04T19:11:00.000-07:00

So, it's Tuesday night and I'm finally getting around to blogging about my weekend! All in all, it was a good one, just SUPER busy!

Friday night started with Brayden's baseball game. They played awful! They got smoked!!! But, I still love watching them play! They only scored 2 runs, and one of them was an RBI from Brayden, and the other one was Brayden! So, he did well

My Handsome Brayden :)

Saturday morning we got up EARLY and headed out to Walk Like MADD. This is the 2nd annual 5K that Mother's Against Drunk Driving has put on to raise awareness and funds. The weather was very yucky, but the rain actually held off. There were tornado watches and thunderstorm warnings, but we got really lucky. The sky was black pretty much the whole time and it was really muggy, but at least we didn't get stormed on! The walk was alot more successful this year than last, but I think more people would have showed up if it was nice weather too. There was a Zumba instructor there doing the warm up, and I was really excited about that. I have been wanting to try that for awhile, but they don't have childcare at the local Zumba class, so I'm out of luck for now! ANyway, it was a little more than a warm up!!! I was sweating like crazy after 15 minutes!! But it was FUN! I would love to zumba soon!!!! I like latin music, love to dance, love aerobic exercise, so it's totally me! Anywya, after that, the walk was beginning. I didn't get to talk to hardly any of my friends because zumba lasted a little too long. I was so bummed because there were several people there that I haven't seen in years and I wished I could have spent more time with them! But I really appreciated them coming to support such a great cause and to walk in honor of my sister :) We were all wearing camo shirts that said "Amber's Army" in hot pink. The shirts actually won the "Best Shirt Design" award! Out team of 72 people also won "Most Team Members" and we got 2nd place in most money collected. YAY US!!!! We couldn't have done it without all of our wonderful friends and family. I know that if Amber could see, she would have been stoked to see how many people were out there for her. She LOVED attention, so this really would have made her smile :)

Me & Melissa (high school friend, now Blog Buddy!)

"Amber's Army" (actually some team members had already left)

Me & one of my BFF's Sarr (and baby boy)

We just chilled out Saturday evening because we were exhausted! I had worn a pedometer while doing the walk and while we cleaned up afterwards and I took about 18,000 steps!!!! It was an exhausting day, but we made it through!

Sunday was my birthday!!!! I turned 31! WOW! That can't be right huh??? Anyway, we went to church and then to my parents house for lunch. My Dad made me his grilled herb chicken salad and I loaded it down with marinated mushrooms, artichokes, kalamata olives, Parmesan cheese, garlic butter croutons, tomatoes, cucumbers, hmmmmmm....I think that's it! It was yummy!!! Then he made me a homemade cherry pie. I am not a huge pie fan, but my dad makes a delicious cherry pie and I love it! No one else eats it, so I get to take the whole thing home...just for me!!! YIKES :0
So, my parents gave me a super cute pair of sandals, and a purse! My Dad's birthday is today, so I got him a few things from Bass Pro Shop.

My weekend was great, but I guess my favorite things were the things that Dan got for me for my birthday. He went to Charming Charlie's and picked out some super cute things for me! I have been wanting a BRIGHT yellow purse for summer, so he went and found me the perfect yellow purse and a really cute necklace/earring set. Then he went to Lifeway Bible Bookstore and got me a Proverbs 31 shirt that I had seen a few weeks ago and wanted, but they didn't have my size, another shirt there that I need to return because it is too small, but really cute, and a silver heart necklace that has "Love Never Fails" engraved on it. He also found me the perfect coffee mug! Check out the pic and see why it is PERFECT for me!

My gifts from my honey!!!!

How PERFECT is this???? I LOVE IT :)

Well, I hope everyone else had a great weekend as well! I am ready for a restful one now!

Busy Weekend Ahead!!

2010-04-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

I am averaging about 1 blog a week, so I decided I would post about my upcoming weekend and then hopefully next week I can post pics from all events!

So, tomorrow night Brayden has his 2nd baseball game. I LOVE watching him play baseball! This has always been his favorite sport to play (football is his favorite to watch!) and he does really well every year, but this year we have seen a HUGE improvement at his practices. Tuesday night was his first game and he did amazing! His first bat, he hit a 3 run homer! He has NEVER done this before!!! I was screaming so loud!!!! He was smiling so big when he crossed the plate. PROUD MOMMA moment for sure :) He also did very well at 3rd base. I can't wait to see him play tomorrow night. GO TIGERS!!!!

Then, Saturday morning we will be up VERY early for the 2010 Walk Like MADD at LSU. This is the 2nd year for the 5K event and it is already proven to be a much bigger success than last year. Our team, "Amber's Army" has about 70 members and I am super excited about seeing some people that i haven't seen in a LONG time!!(Little Miss MArried!) I am actually kind of ready for the whole walk to be over though. I don't mean that in a bad way, but it has kind of taken over our lives since January because of all of the preparation and everything. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about raising awareness to how serious drunk driving really is, and I am also happy to honor my sister there as well. I am just wiped out from all of it. But, it should be really fun and I am looking forward to it.

Then, Sunday is......my BIRTHDAY!!!!! I will be 31! This is a hard age for me to say because this is the age that my sister never made it to and since she was my older sister it just feels weird. I know that probably sounds weird too, but I can't really explain it. I thought turning 30 was weird because Amber was 30 when she died, but 31 is really weird. Your not supposed to pass up your OLDER sister in age.....anyway, it's sort of a bitter-sweet birthday, but that's okay. I'm going to make the best of it because I have so much to be happy about :) So, after church, my Dad is cooking for me. It's a tradition for us to pick our "birthday meal" from my Dad because he loves to cook wonderful gourmet meals. I think he was kind of disappointed when I requested grilled chicken salads!!!! But his salads aren't typical. He grills this amazing herb chicken and he has more salad toppings than you can imagine! From kalamata olives to marinated artichokes...YUMMY!!!!! His birthday is 2 days after mine, so we will be celebrating his too.

So, all in all this should be a great weekend and I am looking forward to it! I will take LOTS of pics so that my next post will be full of info AND pics!!!

New Life

2010-04-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

This past week has been VERY hectic, so I haven't posted in like a week and a half I think :( We were super busy, but most of it was with good things. Besides baseball practice 3 days a week, dance 1 day, homework EVERYDAY, etc, we also had a revival at our church. I must say that I haven't been to a revival in about 20+ years. I actually wasn't planning on going, but after the preacher spoke on Easter Sunday and said he would be there Mon, Tues, Wed that week, we really wanted to be there. So, Monday was out of the question, but my parents went. They called us and said they would watch our kids Tuesday night so that we could go. They said it was amazing! This is HUGE for my parents because after being raised in a strict Christian home until my teen years, my parents totally strayed from God. They were hurt in the church we had attended for our whole lives and they turned from God after all of it. As a semi-rebellious teenager, I was fine with the fact that my parents weren't dragging me to church anymore. It wasn't until I was married that I realized how far gone my parents really were and how much I wanted to see them come back. So, after my sister died, they realized they needed to change their lives. My sister had recently rededicated her life to Jesus and they knew that in order to ever be with her again, they needed to reconnect with God. SO, I was thrilled when that happened and we all started going to church together again and have been since.

Here recently, I have noticed my parents(especially my Mom), detaching themselves from me. I don't think it is at all intentional, but it is definitely obvious. They adopted my sister's oldest son from her first marriage, and at times, I feel like he has somehow "replaced" me. My Mom especially is still overcome with grief from losing Amber that we don't even communicate anymore unless it is something to do with her. It has really gotten to me lately because I sort of feel like I lost my sister and now I have "lost" my parents. I try not to be judgemental though because I cannot imagine losing any of my kids.

Okay, back to the revival. The preacher called my Mom down Monday night with a prophesy. He told her that she was focusing all of her life on her heavenly future that she was missing out on all of the great things that God has for her right now on earth. He also told her that God was going to give her peace in the form of heaven on earth. Now I admit, I am very sceptical of prophesies! I don't mean to be, but I just am. This hit the nail on the head though! My parents were so excited, and best of all my Mom accepted it and was encouraged. This in turn encouraged me. I felt like maybe this was a start in our family getting close again. I hope so anyway.

So, Dan and I went Tuesday and then again on Wednesday. It was amazing! I haven't been to church and felt so "filled" in a very long time! God was definitely there and He was MOVING! It really felt like new life entering my body. I felt reconnected with God on a whole new level. I think we should have revivals more often :)

Now all week long, I have just felt rejuvenated in a different way. I feel like the new life that was breathed into me is the new life that is going to fulfill my calling that the Lord has on my life and I am really excited to see where God takes me and my family! This weekend, while I was in the yard with the kids, I noticed things flying around all over the place. There were literally hundreds of dragonflies in the sky. Dan said they must have just hatched. I have never seen anything like this before. I used to not be a huge fan of dragonflies, but now I love them because Brayden and Addi both bought me a dragonfly necklace at their school Santa shop for Christmas without even knowing the other one bought one too. They both said it looked like something I would like. I thought it was cool that they both picked that out from a million other things, so since then, I have started liking dragonflies! Okay, anyway, I grabbed my camera to try to take pictures of all the dragonflies, but couldn't get one that really showed how amazing it was because those boogers are so fast!!! And the first thing I thought of was , NEW LIFE! Then, the very next day, one of our ducks had 5 babies! We saw her in the lake with her sweet little duckings for the first time. Once again, NEW LIFE!

I think God is trying to teach me something about this new life, this new beginning, and this new adventure that He is taking me on. I keep thinking about how great a new pair of shoes feel, or a new set of sheets, new haircut, new towels, new outfit feels. So many NEW things are just what we need at that very moment and they feel so great! I am ready for anything NEW He has for me!!!!

A couple dragonfly pics. If you look really close you can see that the specs in the sky are actually dragonflies!

Here's our cute little duckings!!! I love them :)

Weak Moment?????

2010-03-31T03:23:00.000-07:00

So, it is 5:30 am and I am up. Actually, I have not slept at all. (okay, between 3 & 3:30 I did) We got a dog......enough said. I am about to put a pot of coffee on so that I can actually try to function on a half hour of sleep. This will be tougher than usual since the kids are out of school this week and they are depending on me for their entertainment!!! HAHA!

Okay, so about the puppy. Brayden has been begging for a dog for awhile now. He is almost 9 and is actually a great age for a dog and the responsibilty of it, but until about 6 months ago, he has shown no interest in animals whatsoever. And we have a track record with dogs that doesn't look too well. Here goes: When Brayden was almost 2, we got a lab mix puppy. We named her Sophie. She was really cute, but not quite all there. She was destructive and obnoxious and we found her a good home because Brayden wanted nothing to do with her. So, a few months later, I thought it would be a good idea to go to the animal shelter after seeing one of those pitiful commercials and get a dog that was out of the puppy stage. Brayden and I came home with a medium sized terrior named Minnie Mae and she seemed perfect. Brayden and I got home with her and threw balls at her and were amazed at how high she would jump to catch them. If I told her to sit, get down, or stay, she listened. I called Dan at work so excited because I thought we finally found the perfect dog. Well, he was excited and when he got home he was ready to see her, and as soon as he walked in the backyard, Minnie Mae jumped up and bit his arm and then snapped at Brayden! Well, you can guess where that dog went the next morning; back to the shelter. I was shocked, but I didn't want to have an aggressive dog with a 2 year old. So, we said, "No more dogs for a while!"

About 1 year later, and 1 child later, we had dog fever again. Brayden was 3 and was asking for one. Dan just had to get a border collie! We named her Stormy and she was adorable. But after almost a year, we realized border collies were too much of a working dog to be kept in a yard all day with very little attention. She also couldn't stop jumping, and with Addi now a toddler, she hated the dog, so Dan found a home for her with a guy that lived on a farm, which is perfect for those kinds of dogs.

About a year after that, we decided that maybe we needed an inside dog and that way we wouldn't have to worry about something too big. So, right after finding out I was pregnant with Noah, we got Roxie, a miniature Dachschund. She was adorable and sweet and all the things puppies are. But i was working 2 days a week at the time, so her schedule consisted of a kennel on those days and being inconsistent meant it was taking way to long to train her. But we loved her and kept trying. When she was 5 months old, my sister died. I am ashamed to say that I just put food in there for her and took her out once or twice a day. She lived in that little kennel because I barely had the strength to take care of myself and my kids, much less the dog. And I knew that in a few more weeks I would have a baby to take care of in the midst of all of this. I was heartbroken, but I knew we had to find a home for her. My sister in law had a friend that had lost her miniature dachschund in hurricane Katrina and was ready for a new one. We gladly gave her to this family and felt really good about it.

So, for the past 3 years, we have tossed around the idea because Dan and I both had dogs growing up and we want our kids to have one, but they are alot of work and I just got all of our kids sleeping through the night! We have talked about it and done some researching because we didn't want to get one on a whim. So, after seeing these puppies that of friend of Brayden's dog just had, it just felt right. They are an Irish setter, lab, shephard mix. We fell in love with the biggest one because he was so layed back compared to the others. He was cuddly and sweet. So, Dan surprised the kids after telling them he had to think about it. They were all so excited and I think Brayden will be a big help with it and Addi and Noah will play with him alot too.

Since it is technically Brayden's dog, he named him Madden, after John Madden. I am not surprised at all being my son is the biggest sports fanatic ever for 8 years old. He wants to be an ESPN Sportscaster when he grows up! So, I told him he was staying up with a crying dog all night since he is out of school, and he was feeding it and all that comes with a dog. Well, he got up for about 2 hours with Madden last night and I felt bad, so I sent him back to bed. I couldn't sleep when he was up anyway because I knew I would wake up to dog poo everywhere and I did for the 30 minutes I fell asleep!

So anyway, I hope this wasn't a weak moment thing and I really hope the dog doesn't cry too much longer. I feel so sorry for it. I know he misses his Mom and brothers and sisters :( I hope that it all works out and we can finally have the right dog for our family because Lord knows we have tried!!!!!

Here's a few pics of Madden. Isn't he cute???

Be still & Know

2010-03-29T13:07:00.000-07:00

Last night I did something I haven't done in ages......drumroll please.....I took a bubble bath! I used to do this all the time, but with the hustle and bustle of everyday life, I just never treat myself to that anymore. So, I decided last night after the kids were all in bed that I was going to do just that. I grabbed my new Meredith Andrews CD first. BTW, everyone should get this CD. It is actually her old CD, but I like it better than her new one. I love her new song, "Can Anybody Hear Me?" and that is how I even discovered her. But her older album is called "The Invitation" and it is amazing. It is so scriptural and I just LOVE it! Okay, so I put my music on and I sat back with my big tub as full as I could get it without overflowing, and sat back and chilled. I started talking to God about alot of things that are on my heart right now. I felt like He was telling me, "Slow down. Breathe. Now stop. Listen." Now, I have never heard God's audible voice before, but I usually know when He's "talking" to me. So, here I am praying and basically He is telling me to be quiet?? What's the deal?

Okay, so I am a stay home Mom to 3 wonderful kids, and I have an extra 4 year old every weekend. We just finished basketball and cheerleading, and now have baseball practice 3-4 nights a week, plus dance, homework every night, etc. I am slightly OCD when it comes to scheduling. I am a planner. Spontaneous will never be a word that describes me! So, to say that I am always "on the go" is pretty accurate. I pray in my car, while I'm getting dressed, etc, but like my life, I don't slow down and breathe, much less, stop and listen.

I feel like God has so much He wants to tell me if I would just slow down and hear Him. I also think that He was telling me this for my own self as well. I think He wants us to relax a little and get quiet; whether He has something to say or not. He wants us to take care of ourselves and just chill sometimes. I don't think I do that enough. I am very bad about talking to Him, but not waiting on an answer.

From now on, I am going to try a little harder to slow down and take time to just breathe. And in the meantime, I am also going to take a few more Cherry Blossom bubble baths :)

My precious nephew

2010-03-27T20:36:00.000-07:00

Last night marked the beginning of baseball season for CAYL. My nephew Seth(my sister's youngest son), started T-ball for the first time. He is 4 years old, and he is absolutely wild, but absolutely adorable too!

So, due to some crazy circumstances, my family has Seth every weekend. It has been very difficult for the past few months, but it is what needs to be done. Since Amber died, her husband has had his share of issues and he gave custody of his kids to his sister. We fought hard, but since Amber is deceased, we don't have the rights that his family does. Anyway, we are more than happy to be able to get him every weekend, but honestly, it is tough having 4 kids every weekend and especially since there has been an extreme lack of discipline with Seth for a good while.

Okay, so anyway, Seth is small for his age, but he is so stinkin' cute! He looked adorable in his baseball uniform! I sat there cheering for him while he is running around in circles with so much pride. It was a different pride than I have when I watch my own though. In some ways, it seems like more. Not that I am not the super proud mom for my kids, but this is like a double proud feeling. I'm proud of him because he is my nephew and I love him to death, but I'm also so proud for my sister. I guess because I know she would be screaming and cheering right next to me if she were here. I wish that was the way that it was. I wish it wasn't me sitting there taking a ton of pictures. I wish it was her. I wish he wasn't turning and giving me the "thumbs up" sign when he went to bat. I wish it was her.....but it isn't, and it never will be. But I still smile when I think about how proud she would be. I smile even though it is so unfair.

I know I'm just rambling, so I'll stop now. I am just proud of that kid. He is such a sweetheart and I am so glad that we have him in our lives. His smile was so big tonight when they won their game! It was a proud aunt moment for sure!!!

Work in Progress

2010-03-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

We had a very productive weekend! We have been living in our house for a year now and had not done a thing with our landscaping! So, with the weather being beautiful Friday and Saturday(for most of the day), we took full advantage. We loaded up our kiddos and took a trip to Clegg's Nursery. Trying to be efficient and do this in only 1 trip, we all had a wagon, except for Noah. We were running into plants, walls, people, etc(no, not really people, but I'm sure we were a sight to most there!) Anyway, we BARELY made it in 1 trip. There was not a lick of space left in the back of the truck or the trailer we pulled!

So, we got home and got straight to work. Dan LOVES yardwork, me, not so much.....until Saturday. I thoroughly enjoyed getting all dirty and "creating" our flowerbeds. We were basically working from scratch. It was like a blank canvas. It really was pretty cool! Anyway, we did all of the front beds, which includes a HUGE shady bed right by our front door, and I also wanted a long bed made down the side of our yard to sort of separate our house from our strange neighbors. We already have a fence for the backyard, but this is the front. Anyway, after working pretty much non stop for 6 hours, we finished! Our kids were great helpers and played so well while we worked our tails off! It was such a great feeling to stand back and look at what we had accomplished! It was amazing how much difference it made by adding plants and flowers!!!! I was thrilled, except for one thing. As good as it looks, and trust me, it looks WAY better, it still doesn't look like these beautiful yards that are lush and full yet. It looks like new plants and new flowers. Don't get me wrong, that is a major improvement, but it still has spaces and gaps where the plants need to grow and multiply and bloom.

So, here comes my analogy(you knew I would have one, and sorry if I'm getting obnoxious with these, but I really feel like this is how God is teaching me so many things in my life right now. It is a way that I understand Him) I look at my life and think of where I started and how far I have come. I look at my life even one year ago where there was so much missing. I wasn't lacking in happiness, love or anything like that as far as my family life. I mean, I had an amazing husband who takes such great care of me. I am able to stay home with our children and live a comfortable life. I have the 3 most amazing, adorable and healthy children, the list goes on and on. I also had a great relationship with my heavenly Father as well. But it was just "there." It wasn't growing, it was existing. You know what I mean? I still felt empty. I felt like I had a great God who loved me unconditionally, and I longed to serve Him with all of my innermost being, but I was lacking a real relationship. The kind you have with your friend, or your spouse. I didn't just sit and talk to Him. When I prayed, I prayed without waiting for an answer. But in the last year, I have felt a connection with Him that has changed me so much and is still changing me. I am like my yard in the sense that I was a blank canvas and God did a work in me. I am already looking so much better in the last year because of what He has taught me and how He has worked in my life. But, when I look at myself, I see how far I have come, but I see how far I still have to go. That is because now it is time for me to bloom and spread and grow.....in Him! Hopefully, I will continue to do this until I reach the my full potential in Him. I am still a work in progress! I know there will be weeds that come up, and I pray that I will be smart enough to pull those out before they take over any area of my life. I know that I will never be perfect, but I pray that as long as I stay in the Son, I will grow!!!

Here's a few more pics. It's kind of hard to tell because they are too far away, but Dan took them and he wanted to show the whole picture!!!

Out with the old!!!!

2010-03-15T11:22:00.000-07:00

After coming home from aerobics this morning, I was overflowing with energy! That, combined with the spring-like weather, prompted me to do a little spring cleaning. That consisted of going through all of the kids closets and dressers getting rid of the clothes that I know they won't be able to fit in next year. I also desperately need to make room for summer clothes for them.

Anyway, I started in Addi's room. That one is always the toughest. I mean, she is the only girl and she LOVES clothes. She would rather an outfit or a pair of shoes over a toy ANY DAY! (that's my girl!) So, I started making a pile for Goodwill. As I was doing this, I started noticing a pattern. Some of the outfits I would pull off the hanger and toss in the pile without really even looking at it; while others, I would look at for awhile and try to determine if I should keep it or give it away. I never did this thinking that she might wear it again next year. I realized the only times I was hesitant was because I would smile and think about how cute she looked when she wore it, or a time that I remember her wearing it. Sometimes I felt so torn on what I should do with it. I mean, I knew that she would never fit in it next year because she was already outgrowing it now. But in my head I was thinking, "maybe I could just hold on to it and stick it in the back of her closet just to have because I like it."

It reminds me of what I am trying to do with my life. I have been a "Christian" for MANY years. But for years, I have tried to hold on to things that I really didn't need in my life. Some of these things aren't even necessarily "bad" things, but they are things that may compromise my integrity in some people's eyes and even in my own sometimes. They are things that I don't need, but have been a part of my life for so long that it is sometimes hard to get rid of them. I keep them tucked away in the back of my closet where they only occasionally come out. But they are just taking up space in my life where I could have new things.....new things from God. Things that are taking up the space that God wants to fill with even better things if I would just make room for them....make room for Him.

I want to de-clutter my life from anything that hinders me from reaching my full potential that God has planned out for me. I want to gladly throw things into the pile and make room for all that He has in store for me. Sometimes it's hard to let go and let God. But I think about how empty my kid's closets may look right now, and I know that in no time, they will be so full of new things, it gets me excited! That's what I'm hoping for from God. I'm cleaning out my closet and making room for Him to fill my life...overflowing!

My Shining Star!

2010-03-10T05:37:00.001-08:00

So, the talent show last night was a blast! Brayden did amazing!!! I would have to say that was one of my most proud moments!! He did his comedy routine flawlessly! The crowd was cracking up, cheering and clapping. Brayden was beaming. (and so was I) When he finished, Kellee Hennessey, the MC, went on about how funny he was and even asked where his parents were because she knew we had to be proud.

There were alot of talented kids, and then some not so talented. Brayden's age group had some really stiff competition. I really wasn't sure about if he would win or not, but since he said he was okay with it, so was I. Well, when the winners were called (1st, 2nd, 3rd), Brayden was not one of them. I could see the look of disappointment on his face when he didn't hear his name called and of course, it broke my heart.

But, here is where the problem is. The judges were AWFUL! I'm not just saying that because Brayden didn't win either. All 3 of the judges have been dancers for 20-30 years, and they were all women. So, everyone that took home a trophy was a girl, or a dance routine; whether they deserved it or not. The girl that should have gotten the 1st place trophy in Brayden's group didn't even place! She played a fiddle like a pro, looked adorable and confident, even had the crowd clapping along. I know she and her family had to be so upset. Even Brayden was SHOCKED about that one. She was the best overall....hands down! But instead, every little girl that put on funky dance clothes, and shook her booty a little got a trophy. It was nothing about talent, all about dancing!

When we got home, Brayden got in the shower and he started crying. I did too. I was heartbroken for him. He has never had any type of "rejection" and I know that builds character, but it stinks when it's your kid. Dan and I had a long talk with him, and I think he is fine this morning. I think he will get lots of compliments from his classmates today.

So, even though I am disappointed that he is upset, I am totally proud and amazed at his performance! He also had a note in his backpack yesterday that he qualified for the screening for talented theatre program, so that should tell you how well he did! Anyway, I love that kid so much, and he never ceases to amaze me!!! He is my super star for sure :)

Momma's Nerves

2010-03-09T12:06:00.000-08:00

So, tonight at 6:30 is North Live Oak Idol!(aka, the talent show Brayden is in) Now, yesterday, they got to do the show for the rest of the student body, but no parents. I had to bring Brayden's uniform to him at lunch and all of his friends said he did great! They said he was hilarious....which comes in handy for a comedy routine. When Addi got home, she went on and on about how well he did. So I was so excited for him. Like I said in my post about his audition, he has NEVER done anything like this. I mean, he has been in programs for school and church, but he has NEVER done a comedy routine alone like this.

Well, tonight is the show and I am nervous. Brayden is unfazed. I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but it is what it is. The only thing that worries me is that Brayden has had an "I don't care attitude" about alot of things lately(which is so unlike him). I just want him to get up there and do his best. I really don't care if he wins or not, as long as he does his very best! He even told me yesterday that he doesn't think he will win because there are alot of really talented people. But he also said that was okay, and that made me proud. We have drilled it into his head that it isn't about whether you win or lose....yada yada yada.... But, as a Momma, I don't want to see my kid upset or disappointed. But after he said that, I feel much better about it if he doesn't win.

With all that being said, I am still nervous for tonight. Please say a little prayer for him. I'll let everyone know how it went!!!

Wrinkled Mess

2010-03-07T17:15:00.000-08:00

I just finished spending 2 hours doing the chore that I think I HATE more than anything in the world....IRONING!!! (just ask my husband how much I hate it. He's the tall, handsome guy in the wrinkled shirt! HA!)

Anyway, my poor hubby has been thumbing through his closet every morning looking for a shirt to wear, only to find one wrinkled shirt after another. So, as much as I would have loved a lazy Sunday evening, I decided I needed to break down and iron for him.

So, as I was ironing, I just kind of drifted away in la la land. I guess that is the only way I can deal with doing something I truly despise that much! HAHA! But I couldn't help but think about the difference that hot iron makes on these poor, wrinkled piles of shirts. I started thinking about how grungy and pathetic these shirts look covered in tons of wrinkles, but just with a swipe of the iron, the wrinkles are gone and the shirt looks as good as new. It reminded me of how I must look. Day to day, I get covered in "wrinkles" that damage the way I look. But my "wrinkles" are sin. And pretty quickly I look like a messy pile of junk, just like these shirts. But no matter how "wrinkled" I get, it just takes a second for God to smooth them all out and I look as good as new again.

And no matter how wrinkled and worthless I may feel, God sees the potential in me that I lose sight of so quickly. He is the iron that presses the wrinkles away so that I can be proudly displayed for everyone to see....good as new!

I heard this said before and I thought it was pretty neat. If you found a $100 bill on the ground, but it was all dirty and crumpled up, would you leave it there or would you pick it up? That seems like such a crazy question because I don't know anyone that would leave it and walk away. That is because no matter how dirty or crumpled that $100 bill may be, it is still worth $100. It hasn't lost it's value, and it surely still spends the same! That is exatly how God looks at us. No matter how crumpled, dirty, or wrinkled we are, God knows our value, and He will gladly pick us up, get the "wrinkles" out and carry us in His hand!

Ready for summer.....just not swimsuits!!!

2010-03-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

I love this time of year, but every year I find myself SO frustrated with myself. Okay, here's the deal; every year my New Year's resolution involves losing weight, toning up, etc. And every year, the month of January goes great! I am totally faithful with working out and eating right. Then comes February! For some reason February and March seem to be my family's sick months. So this year was no different. We all got strep( I got it twice), and by the time everything runs its course through all 5 of us, it seems like there goes the month! Which means, there goes the working out and eating right!

So, today I was out and about and ended up at Target just looking at the super cute swimsuits. I HATEEEEE swimsuit time. I have always had body image issues(even when I was in high school and a size 0). But ever since I have had the kids, it is even worse. I love working out, but it just seems like no matter how much I do, I can never be happy with my stomach! That is where I carry all of my weight. It is so frustrating! And when you carry it all in the middle, it doesn't matter what the rest of your body looks like because you always look FAT! I'm not saying I'm huge, but I feel like I look "thick." I hate that!

Okay, so back to the swimsuits. I wish that I could find a swimsuit that I just felt comfortable in. It doesn't matter what brand, style, or color, I could just cry when I look in the mirror! I don't think I have unrealistic expectations either. I don't expect my body to look the way it did before I had kids, but my Lord, I'd love to get rid of the "spare tire" around my waist!!!!

Anyway, this really is a pointless post. I just felt depressed after my shopping trip today. I just love the beach so much and I wish that I could play on the beach with my kids without a cover up on the whole time. And I'm not asking to be able to wear a string bikini. I just wish I was comfortable in my own skin! And not only that, I am soooo ghostly white right now that it doesn't help anything. I am not a tanning bed person, but I do get some color during the summer from being outside with the kids. Dan thinks I'm crazy that I feel skinnier when I am tan, but I do! My motto is, "If you can't tone it, tan it!!!!!"

Okay, so enough rambling about wanting to be skinny!!! I'm going to bed! Good night :)

With ALL of my heart

2010-03-02T13:25:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 3:5,6

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

This has always been one of my favorite scriptures. I quote it alot, think about it alot, tell it to my kids alot, but do I LIVE it?

Okay, I am one of those people that has absolutely NO problem telling my family that I love them with ALL of my heart. Because I so do! I also have no problem telling God that I love Him with all of my heart; because I totally do! But, as much as I say that I trust the Lord with ALL of my heart, I find myself struggling with that alot. I mean, why is it easier to love with ALL of my heart, but not trust with all of it? God gave His only Son to die for me, yet I cannot trust with everything?

I am a very trusting person, sometimes maybe too trusting. But, it is never a total trust. No matter how hard I try, I guess if I get totally honest, I never totally trust. Maybe it is just a defense mechanism. It is not a intentional thing at all. Anyway, I am a "carrier." I like to try to hold everyone's problems and make them better. Sometimes I try so hard to tackle so much, be a mediator, peacemaker, problem solver, etc. that I finally have a meltdown because it is just too much. I often remind myself of another scripture about casting all your cares on Jesus. But for some reason, I try to fix everything.

When am I ever going to just lay it in God's hands and say, "God you are in control, not me. I trust you...with ALL of my heart?" It seems so easy. He knows the outcome of every situation before it happens, yet I can't trust Him with ALL of me?

I pray that I can eventually get to that point. I feel like I am so much closer than I used to be, but I'm not quite there yet. I want to be able to trust just as much as I love!!!

My Baby Turns 3 !!!

2010-02-26T20:53:00.000-08:00

February 27, 2007 was a very normal day besides the horrible back-ache and the usual grumbles of an 38 week pregnant woman. I finally realized I should go to the Doctor to see what was going on. I mean, with Brayden, my water broke, with Addi, I started with the most intense contractions in the middle of the night, but this time was different. I didn't "feel" like I was in labor. All I know is that I have extremely fast labor and I was home alone with my 2 year old, my 5 year old was at school, and I didn't need to risk an at home delivery by myself!!!

So, my Mom took me to the hospital and they did all the usual things; monitors, checking, etc. I was 4 cm dialated and was having frequent contractions. I was in early stages of labor. My doctor felt like it was best to stay there due to my fast labor and he would just break my water and get the show on the road. Well, 25 minutes later, my precious son was born!!! (yes, I said 25 minutes! And no, I did not have time to benefit from full effects of epidural! OUCHH!!!)

Anyway, rewind 5 weeks proir. My only sister Amber was killed in a car wreck; a drunk driver to be exact. Burying my sister so close to my delivery was so difficult. Not that it wouldn't have been any time, but just knowing that she would never meet her nephew was so hard for me. I mean, she was the first person I called when I found out I was pregnant. She was so excited about being an aunt again since we had not planned on having any more children. Now, she would never see him....he would never see her.

About a week after she died, I kept thinking about the baby's name. Dan and I had "settled" on the name Camden. We both liked it, but the entire time I kept saying, don't monogram that on anything in case I change my mind. I never really felt like that was "THE" name for our son. So I sat and tried to think of names. Amber had told me she wanted me to name him Noah because of "The Notebook" which was her favorite book and movie. I told her it was not my favorite name at all, and it wasn't going to happen. So, as I sat there I kept thinking about the name Noah and how much she liked it. I felt in my heart that this baby needed a really special name with a great meaning since he was coming into our lives at such a difficult time. I just knew there was a name out there that would represent this somehow. I got on the computer and started searching baby name and meanings. I got to a page that had 2 columns. The first column was the meanings and the second column was the name. I skimmed over some meanings without even looking at the names. A few of them seemed to fit our situation, but when I looked at the name, it was so weird I didn't even know how to pronounce it. It was definately a name from another country or something. Until I got to one meaning that just stopped me in my tracks. It said, "one who brings comfort." Before I looked at the name I got teary eyed because I thought there could never be a more perfect name. That is what I was hoping and praying this baby would bring to our family! And then I looked across the screen to the name........NOAH. I sat at the computer and bawled my eyes out. There could not have been a more perfect name for our son. This was what his name was meant to be all along!

I called everyone I could think of. Everyone's reaction was exactly the same as mine. It was perfect!

At 4:41 pm on February 27, 2007, I gave birth to the most perfect angel, with the most perfectly suited name. It was an amazing experience to see our miracle born, but at the same time, it was so hard knowing that Amber was not out there in the waiting room, and that she wasn't going to come in the room and try to hold him forst like the other 2 times. It was hard. But looking into the sweet eyes of my baby boy, I found comfort. During the delivery, I held on to a small baby washcloth that we had taken out of my sister's son's diaper bag shortly after she died. It still smelled like her. I felt her there with me. I know that she was smiling as her nephew was being born. I know she was also smiling because she got her way with Noah's name. That's just so Amber :)

Now, 3 years later, I can't imagine my life without him. He has added so much joy to our lives. He is so full of life and energy. He keeps us all on our toes and always laughing. He is so tiny for his age. We call him the runt most of the time. I think his Paw Paw was right when he says, "Dynamite comes in small packages!"
Happy birthday to my sweet baby boy!!! I love you with all of my heart and soul! Our family was not complete without you!

Always There

2010-02-24T13:29:00.000-08:00

It is so easy in life to think that God has forgotten about us sometimes. Especially when things get tough, you might wonder where in the world He is. I mean, we know that the Bible says, "He'll never leave us or forsake us," but in everyday life sometimes we feel alone. I can honestly say that I don't ever feel "lonely." I mean, I have a wonderful husband that is always there for me, and I have 3 wild little rugrats that won't even let me go to the bathroom in private!! So lonely, I am not! But, when certain trials are going on in my life, I can pray and seek God, but feel like I'm getting nothing in return.

I was reminded of this today as I was trying to sit on my couch and relax. I have LOTS of windows in my house. I glance out to look at the lake in my back yard and my view is distorted. Why? Because there are tons of little handprints and smears all over the windows that line the back of my house. I kind of laugh and look towards the front of my house at my GLASS front door only to see the same thing. My initial reaction was to run to the cleaning cabinet and grab the Windex, but instead I just sat there thinking. Even though my house was so quiet at that moment, there were reminders all around me that I have a house full of little ones. It made me then think about how hectic, crazy and stressful our lives may be, but no matter what, God is always there. We have constant reminders that He is with us, but we just have to take the time to see them. I mean, my windows didn't gather all of these handprints today. I just haven't taken the time to sit and notice them....until now.

I pray that I can be more aware of God and all of His greatness every day. I desire to take more time to just enjoy being with Him. He does so much for me all the time, even though I don't always realize it or even thank Him for it. But it is very comforting to me to know that no matter what I do or where I go, He is with me. Kind of like no matter how many times I clean those windows, I will still have little handprints on them!

Sick boy :(

2010-02-22T19:21:00.002-08:00

So, to say that I am exhausted may be quite an understatement. I HATE HATE HATE when my kids are sick more than anything in the world, but for some reason, when my oldest is sick, it really tears me up! I guess it is because he is so independent for 8 years old and he just wants to be left alone. I'm supposed to be cuddling him and nursing him to health, but instead I keep passing by his room and peeking in. It's weird. I don't like it. I guess I just don't like that my little boy acts like he doesn't NEED me that much. It makes me sad, but also glad at the same time that he isn't one of those whiny boys! Nothing is worse than a whiny boy! HAHA!

Anyway, so he started running fever Saturday evening and things started getting worse, fast! His slight cold turned into a swollen throat and his head was so plugged up he could barely breathe. Sunday was the same thing, so we went in to the doctor this morning. He tested positive for strep, but the doctor also said his severe congestion was not typical with strep, so if he had to guess, he thought it was probably H1N1 because he is seeing alot of kids in our parish with it in the last few weeks. (wonderful!!) He also gave us an inhaler because of a "funny" sound in his chest. We have to go back Wednesday morning for a follow up and possible chest x-ray. Well, not exactly what I expected, but at least we left with scripts for antibiotics instead of being told, "It's a virus and it has to run it's course!!!"

By this evening, only 2 doses of antibiotics later, he seemed to be "coming back to life a little." He actually ate some dinner and sat around with the family talking. It was a HUGE improvement from the last 2 days, even since this morning! He hasn't run fever since 9:00 am either. I hope and pray my little man is on the mend! I am hoping that the strep is what is causing the other symptoms as well because the antibiotics knock that out pretty quick.

Please keep him in your prayers! He has been a miserable boy for 2 days and I hate to see him like this. But as much as I hate it, it also makes me so thankful at times like this. He hasn't been to the doctor in exactly one year. He had strep throat in February of last year also. I almost feel guilty to complain about him being sick when I really am truly thankful that God blessed us with 3 healthy children. There are plenty of people out there that would love to be fretting over their child having strep or the flu. There are much worse things that they could have.

So, thank you Lord for blessing me, and thank you for healing his body tonight as he rests. Now, Momma is going rest too :)

Opportunity Knocks......the Holy Spirit rings the doorbell!!

2010-02-21T19:12:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day! Besides my 8 year old being sick, I feel like this was a day that God totally "laid out" for us. You see, my husband and I led praise and worship at church today for the first time in almost 2 years. It was at a church that used to be our "home church." Anyway, we are just filling in for 2 weeks. I must say that I wasn't too keen on the idea at first, I mean, there is sort of a history there, but we felt a nudge to do so anyway. We are in the process of looking for a church and this came into play. We have been very involved with another church for almost 2 years, but for reasons I won't go into, we realized that the Lord was pulling us away from there. So when this opportunity came up for us to lead worship where we used to go, we went with it. Honestly, I was nervous this morning. I didn't know how we would be accepted or how it would all pan out. All we know is that we both feel a strong calling on our lives to do this, and when you are following the Holy Spirit, then it can't be wrong.
Well, I must say that it all went well! Why? Because God had it all planned out, not me, not my husband, nor the pastor or any single person. Just God. And it felt good. It felt good to be using the gifts that God has given us for Him again.
The Biblical word for passion is ZEAL. Without zeal, life can become drab. It is almost like you are just going through the motions. I am so tired of that. I want to be zealous in all I do, but most importantly in all I do for the Lord. I know that without Him I am nothing, and I owe Him ALL of me! I also know that He has a plan and it will come to pass with or without me. I can either hop on board or wave as it passes by. I feel like I have been waiting too long and the ship is about to set sail without me. I am climbing aboard with faith and believing that with God as my captain, my destination will be exceedingly above my wildest dreams!
I heard this quote the other day and just fell in love with it, "You don't put live eggs under dead chickens." It is so true. God's plans are alive and well and He needs us to be vessels that allow Him to work through us. But how can He use us when we are "dead?" That's where that zeal comes into play!

Amazing Grace

2010-02-20T20:14:00.000-08:00

"There is tremendous relief in knowing that God's love for me is based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst in me. No discovery can disillusion Him in the way I'm often disillusioned about myself, or quench His determination to bless me. There is great cause for humility in the thought that He sees all the twisted things about me that others don't see. Indeed, He sees more corruption in me than I see in myself. Yet He desires to be my friend, and has given His Son to die for me in order for me to realize this purpose." J.I. Packer

Wow! When you think about God's love and His grace in that light it is even more amazing! In spite of all you have done or will ever do, he wants to be your friend, and He loves you more than anything.

It reminds me of when I was a kid. Remember when you wanted your friend, or sibling, or whoever to do something for you, you would ask them and then tag on the end, "I'll be your best friend?" Of course my motives were always totally selfish and I had no intention of being labeled as that person's BFF, but that was the way to get what I wanted. Well, God is saying, "Come to me, I'll be your best friend...and so much more." No strings attached, just follow Him.

I can't really wrap my mind around His grace, but I am so thankful for it everyday. I cannot believe that anyone can love me through all my imperfections the way that He does. His grace truly is amazing!!!!!

Proud Momma!!!!!

2010-02-18T13:53:00.000-08:00

Whoo-hoo!!!!! I am so proud of my little comedian!! HE MADE IT!!!!! He came off the bus holding the golden ticket!!! I was so relieved! I really don't care about the trophy at the show, I just wanted him to make it this far. He even said there were alot of kids that played instruments really well, sang, and did magic shows. So he feels like a winner to get this far and that makes me happy :) Any Momma knows that it is all about seeing your kid succeed.

Just thought I'd brag a little on my sweet boy :)

Competitive Nature

2010-02-17T18:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I have always been a little competitive. Whether it is a game of Candyland, or a project. It doesn't matter, I would like to win. Sometimes I think that is a bad quality, and other times I believe it has advantages. Well, I have noticed since I became a Mom, that it is much worse when it comes to my kids. Not necessarily that I want them to win, or be "the best," but that I don't want them to be disappointed or feel like they are a failure. Because of course in my eyes, they hung the moon :) Anyway, I have a dilemma. Well, not really a dilemma, just something bugging me. My oldest son is in 3rd grade and they are having auditions for a talent show tomorrow. The show is in March, but they have to narrow it down to a smaller amount of kids. My son is not only extremely handsome and sweet for his age(not partial at all), but he is a VERY well-rounded kid. He reminds me alot of how I was as a kid. He is good at pretty much everything he tries, like I was.......BUT, he is not GREAT at any one thing in particular; just like me. I HATED this as a kid! I wanted to be the BEST at just one thing instead of being just "good" at alot of things. Now, as an adult I am more thankful for my well-roundedness, but I am feeling for my son who is following Momma's footsteps. You're probably thinking, "What is the problem then??" Here's the problem: TALENT SHOW!!!! You know what that means! You pick 1, just 1 talent to display infront of hundreds of people. That means it needs to be something you are really great at. (that is if you plan on winning...and trust me, we want to win) So how does an 8 year old who loves to be involved in everything pick something great to do when he is just "good" at alot of things??
Okay, so he tells me he wants to do a comedy act.......yes, I said a comedy act. Don't get me wrong, he is a really funny kid, but there is a difference between funny and a comedian. Are you following? I mean, he has never even seen a comedian perform before. He just thinks he can stand up and tell a bunch of knock knock jokes infront of a crowd and that is a comedy act! So, I did what any panicking mother would do and tried to discourage his participation. Not to hurt his feelings, but I just stressed that he is really good at basketball and baseball and they don't do that in talent shows. It didn't work. He still kept on about it. I mean, he has n idea about timing, or funny stories or anything! But he is dead set on it. So we searched and found some pretty funny jokes and stories about school. I spent FOREVER piecing it together to actually "flow." He practiced in his room tonight for a while and then came out to perform for all of us, and............HE WAS REALLY GOOD!!!! I was impressed! He had a few bobbles, but remember, he is only 8. It was really cute! I think he just might have a shot at it. But in the back of my mind I keep picturing some adorable little girl getting on the stage doing a graceful ballet piece, or rocking out a Hannah Montana song, or some guy getting up there and playing a violin like he has a seat in an orchestra. I just want him to make it through to the actual show. It would be okay if he doesn't take home a trophy on March 6, but I will be upset if he doesn't make it through tomorrow, because he will be heartbroken!
Anyway, I'm saying some prayers for my little man (audition is at 1:00 tomorrow) and I hope I see a smiling face when he gets off the bus tomorrow and then I'll know he made it through. It is times like this it is so hard being a Momma. Especially when I know how he feels because I was so much like that. I'm not going to lie; I would LOVE to see the smile on his face if he won the trophy, but no matter what happens, I am and will always be so proud of that boy! After all, he is the first one to make me believe in love at first sight!!!! Momma Loves You, B!!!!!!

Winter Olympics

2010-02-16T08:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I LOVE watching the winter Olympics ONLY for figure skating. That goes WAY back to the days when I was little. My sister Amber and I used to "figure skate" through the den seeing who could land the best triple lutz. I really thought I might be an olympic gold medalist one day even though I had never put a pair of ice skates on. (hey, a girl can dream can't she?) We even asked our Mom if we could get the "Dorothy Hammell" haircut! She gave in and let us get about 8 inches cut off of our hair. We were extremely disappointed when our hair didn't move like hers. I guess there is a huge difference in moving due to graceful skating versus a clumsy 5 year old running through the house. Oh well, lesson learned!

I guess what I'm getting at is that I don't know if I actually enjoy watching the olympics or I enjoy remembering the old days and the fun times growing up with my sister. Either way, the winter Olympics make me smile :)